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Unregirter

I'm Actually Proud of E!

But really!

I'm not a fan of reality TV (unless it's some variant of Top Chef or Project Runway). I'm REALLY not a fan of MTV. So naturally, I like other rational human beings fail to see why the fuck the world cares about these two freaks in the banner. I don't know why they're famous, I don't know why the news spends so much time focusing on them, and I don't even know why I'm talking about it right now.

Oh, right, E! poll.

But yeah, after overexposing them, E! has decided to hold a poll for all their watchers/online readers: to Speidi, or not to Speidi? I naturally voted no, and I encourage all of you to do the same. Now if only they would do this with the Gosselins, JoBros, and Miley...

When I Grow Up

There's this image of older people as cranky and constantly looking back at the better days. But I aspire to be an old fogie who doesn't yell at young whippersnappers and enjoys their old age. I hope to be happily married to someone funny for an obscenely long amount of time and to have as much fun as these two youngin's did at the Mayo Clinic.

If you didn't smile a little bit, something's wrong.

Slack-A-Lackin'

I haven't been posting lately because, well...I have a life. So I'll post as much as I can soon, but with the two jobs and summer class and social gatherings, I haven't been keeping up. If you're interested in what's up, I would tell you to follow my Twitter, either here or on the right side of this blog under "Quick & Dirty."

Wait, So What's Water Ice?

So last night was when I finally saw Amanda and Mariellen for the first time in like 20 months. Well, Amanda for 20 months, Mariellen since the 15 minutes I saw her at Rob's over Christmas break (good times). Amanda brought her friend, and Mariellen brought her boyfriend Jordan from Centre (whose name Amanda failed to remember the whole night). I found out a few things:

1) I need to hang out with those two more often. You know, when they're not working or at camp.
2) The name "water ice" is stupid.

Jordan brought it up when he asked "What's...water ice?" and I thought it was a ridiculous question. Until I realized that I had asked the exact same thing the first time I heard it and just adjusted to the state cuisine.

How can something be water AND ice? It's Italian Ice. Which again, the Italians didn't invent ice, but it's a more conventional and logical name than water ice. First of all, it's more of a slush than ice, but certainly not water. Second, the flavoring isn't water, it's flavoring. It comes in mango, vanilla, cherry (with pits), Alex's Lemonade (which Alyson still needs to steal for me), and tons of others. But it's not both water and ice. If anything, it should be called "flavored slush in a cup."

But I don't think that would sell as well.

College, As Defined by Sheldon

In my quest to watch as much Big Bang Theory as possible, I've come across perhaps the best characterization of college parties I've ever seen on a television show. Sheldon and Leonard have it pretty down pat.

"Like Jane Goodall observing the apes, I initially saw their interactions as confusing and unstructured, but patterns emerged. They have their own...language, if you will."
"Go on."
"Well it seems that the newcomer approaches the existing group with the greeting 'How wasted am I?' which is met with an approving chorus of 'Dude.'"
" Then what happens?"
"That's as far as I've gotten.

First Cell Phones, Now This?

So as I was tooling around on my laptop enjoying some season 1 Big Bang Theory, I get this e-mail from my mom:

Did you know that you should not keep your lap top ON YOUR LAP while using it as it emits radiation? It may be small amounts, but we don’t need to encourage the ovarian type cancers. Just worrying about you.

This is not what I want to hear! I mean, I know that cell phones are killing any shot of men having children in the future, but now I might be getting cancer in the ovaries because I prefer my faster and cuter MacBook Pro to the Dell Desktop?

Not cool, guys. Not cool. Keep it on your desk.

History Class Has Never Been So Geeky

I don't know how becoming a Pokemon master fits into a US History Class, but this met all of Lober's requirements and is now the final grade of my sister's junior history class career. So really, take a look and join me in asking: WTF?

I Feel Like A Kid Again

I was skeptical that Toy Story 3 would suck. And let's face it, the original came out 14 years ago (!!!! We were so little!) and I have it on VHS. But the teaser, even though it's kind of grainy, looks pretty cute. And it's going to be in 3D, just like Up. Here's to hoping it's good.

For Your Consideration: Ukulele "Creep"

Radiohead has become a recent obsession for me, which I seem to be pre-primed for; according to the masters at Pandora, you're more apt to be a Radiohead fan if you like Coldplay. But anyway. My modest opinion is this: Radiohead should totally bust out a ukulele on the next CD.

But seriously.

Radiohead is one of the most experimental bands out there. They got the USC Marching Band to back them up at the Grammy's on "15 Step," which very few can get away with and still be awesome. You can hear them in the background of a lot of MTV shows, and in the Pretty Brit music spectrum, they fall to the far left of Coldplay (which gained some ground in the experimenting with the "Viva La Vida" album, which employed Radiohead producer Brian Eno to get there).

So it seems only natural that at some point, Thom Yorke would pick up a ukulele and go to town, and make all of the rest of alternative music wonder why they hadn't thought of doing it themselves. As motivation for Yorke to do this? I give you this dude, in one of the few "Creep" cover attempts.

The Somali Booty Call

Again, news sites of the world. Keep an eye on your headlines, because they don't mean what you think they might. Kanye West did not get a Pap Smear, he actually beat up a photographer.

Just the same, I'm pretty sure the Somali pirates didn't make a booty call. I know that "booty" also means loot, and if you're a pirate, you're known to get booty. But this does not imply, as the BBC News Service did, that they made a booty call.

Get it right, guys. I'll let it slide because this is the BBC, and because this slip makes sense. E!Online, however, is not forgiven for the pap smear headline. If for no other reason, they made me look up these entries of what "pap smear" means on Urban Dictionary. You're welcome.

Brad Collins Has An Evil Twin

I'm convinced. After watching a few of those Wendy's "Frosty Posse" ads, I've decided that the goofball at the end of the commercial at first glance holds a passing resemblence to Bogart Boy Brad Collins. Thoughts? I'm pretty sure he kind of does. Mainly because, I could totally see him doing this.

Ice Cream, STAT!

There are times when you can really see how dull Delaware is on a Saturday night, and how little is happening out there. Tonight was one of those nights.

Corinne and I decided to go to Woodside Creamery, because we were craving ice cream (and because it's arguably the best in the area, because they make their own from the milk from the cows they keep on the same farm). So we grabbed her two friends that were helping her with her project and drove over. The line wasn't too bad, and we got our ice cream pretty quick. I even ran into Mary while I was there.

We then see the Mill Creek Ambulance and the emergency services truck pull up one right after the other to the gravel driveway. We start looking around for a crowd of people, or some sort of emergency. Was there a fire? Car accident? Had someone had a heart attack, or started seizing? The sirens weren't on, what was going on?

No. The paramedics just had a case of the munchies, and took a field trip—in the ambulance, with emergency services truck in tow—to go get some ice cream. There are probably hundreds of emergencies around the area, like kids celebrating the end of finals at UD with some good old fashioned alcohol poisoning, and the paramedics are here at Woodside getting some peppermint chocolate chip.

Ah, Delaware. How I missed your dullness.

I Want to Hate McDonald's, But I Can't

See, now it's marketing like this that makes me like fast food chains. It's too adorable to deny.

Facelift for a Blog? A BLOG Lift!

Since I was tired of the old layout (and because I thought American Idol was a foregone conclusion, knock on wood), I decided to re-do the layout with the help of some old photos.

So let me know, how is it for you? (And how much do you love Comic Life for the fun picture in this post?)

Parting Is Such Sweet ;'(

Julez: Hey i have to go prevent a friend from declaring his undying love for a girl who doesn't really know who he is
Julez: i'll bbl

"Don't Question It, Just Do It!"

This is probably the funniest TV Funhouse short ever called "Maraka." It's a Dora spoof, and when you get a minute, watch it. Seriously.

The Nuclear Holocaust Starts at Kohl's

Just when I thought it would be a Lazy Sunday, I got called into work over at Kohl's. It's an odd feeling, really. I never want to go to work, but once I get there, I'm good. The people are nice (I was working with Cassandra, Whitney, Holly, Ryann, Brian, and Edna) and it wasn't too fast or slow.

But then a roach showed up.

I hear squealing from Ryann and Holly and think it's a spider. I was fully ready to step on the thing until I look over the counter and see this huge ass roach taking a stroll by register 13.

"Don't step on it, it'll crunch!" Holly says, backing away. She grabbed a hard tag Tupperware holder and put that over top, then slid a sale poster underneath to trap it. She tried to pick it up, but that didn't work out so well and ended with more squealing. They called Rito up and he just laughed, picked the roach holder up, and walked out the front door to set him free into the wild of the parking lot.

I bet that roach ended up in AC Moore 20 minutes later.

St. Marks won, 11-10, with 7 penalty shots.. Charter has talent, the others have the refs.

Scope is 10-9, and apparently blue balls are a good thing for charter

Just got to the Charter vs. St. Marks game and Lee's mom gave up blue leis to wave. "Sort of like a Terrible Towel." Dad called it a Terrible Lei, and gutter minded lacrosse moms everywhere laughed. It's going to be quite a game.

Hey, that's MTV Background Music!

Do you ever listen to your iTunes on shuffle and find songs that you've never really listened to?

Do you ever do this and hear a song that you've heard in the background of a television show and always wanted to know what it was?

I totally just did both with "Idioteque" from Radiohead's Kid A CD (which I've grown to love since Danielle gave me that and Hail to the Theif). Turns out that I've heard it a million times before and loved it, but never knew it was Radiohead.

It's been in the background of every other episode of True Life that MTV has made. You know, when MTV was still kind of respectable.

State of Play-by-Play

Hey, everyone. These aimless posts all relate to State of Play, and aren't titled normally because I texted in. So enjoy.

Note to self. Never be the pizza man in a Russell Crowe movie.

This is a great movie, ruined by my journalistic ethical education. Thanks, Loop. Great class, ruined State of Play.

So the wolf was part of a ballet, not traffic. But it would've been cool...

Three cheers for Jason Bateman as a sleazeball.

"Why do guys always start conversations with cars?" Madeleine
"Let it go." Me

Don Draper is not the killer, and the garage showdown was not as awesome as Alias.

Is Don Draper the hitman?

The lounckist was told to know the dead chick so well they know the "color of her knickers." Dave's guess is that she was wearing red undies. Mad and I believe otherwise, she was a redhead. My guess is black, like my own.

Helen Mirren would make a horrible editor. You can't make someone write a story about one of their best friends. Fail, movie.

I didn't notice how much I liked Ben Affleck. Don't judge, he's not the top of the totem pole, but solid. Much improved from Daredevil.

Scratch that, 5 people here. Movie doesn't suck, stay tuned.

Madeleine and I have decided. If this movie sucks, We're sneaking into the other theater.

So for State of Play, there are 3 people in the theater. The last time this happened? Evolution, when Tori and I and 8 other losers were in this theater.

I ask all my friends: please, no Lost spoilers tonight, I'm watching it tomorrow.

Adventures in Apple Land

Still at the apple store. Apparently, Madeleine fell on the had and broke the corner of her laptop through the sleeve. Damn. Wonder what happened to her...

Someone just managed to steal from the apple store. I must meet this man and learn his tricks.

The guy at the apple store has seen star trek twice since its thursday premiere. This is where stereotypes are born.

Note to self. Go get the power adapters for the UK and Europe before heading abroad next spring...

In Honor of Hump Day

Because nothing says "Hump Day" like Jorma Taccone humping a sax to the Fleet Foxes.

House Season 5 Finale. Let's Discuss

So if you haven't watched, fuck it, this is full of spoilers.

I'm a shameless fan of House getting together with Cuddy. If you're a troll in fan forums, it would be referred to as "Huddy." And last week, when the BoGirls and I were watching the episode, The two were up against the door getting hot and heavy. Which was hot.

To the point where we were almost breaking quiet hours yelling "HI-OH!" at the TV.

Turns out the whole thing was hallucinated. He didn't have her lipstick, he wasn't taking off her clothes, and he's not clean and sober. He was going nuts and still popping pills.

Now the whole dream ending has been done before (including House itself, season 2), but this I thought was surprisingly well done. Even though the sex was fake (I still have hope it'll happen at some point for real), it was a really good ending and satisfying to see him end up in the loony bin. Which, apparently, was really shot in Jersey, unlike the rest of the show. I agree with Kristyne, the Cameron/Chase wedding was a sweeps staple and kind of boring. And Kutner showing up was a bit much (even though I love me some Kal Penn), Amber was all that was needed. But the rest of it was great.

The downside of all this is, of course, that I have to wait until September to see what exactly happens to House.

My Inner Geek Must Be Fed

I absolutely must see Star Trek.

I would never classify myself as a Trekkie, because I never watched the old episodes (or the new ones). But I saw the preview and only one thought went through my mind:

I. Must. See. This.

Everyone I've talked to that saw it said it was amazing. And I kind of figured it would be. It took JJ Abrams to make my perfect summer movie. Action. Sci-Fi. Hot boys. Good storyline.

Really, I'm all for it. So who's with me?

Twitter Truth

So I was Twitter creeping (yes, I'm on Twitter. Follow me, fools! It's on the right sidebar), and I came across this funny little exchange between my two old editors.

Ugh. It's funny because it's true.

(Click on the picture for a clearer view of what Andy & Edon were talking about)

Mac Meltdown

No, porn was not involved.

So I get home (yay!) to Delaware (more yay!) and turn on my laptop to get online and surf my life away, and all that pops up is the start screen with a blinking folder with a question mark.

Not good. Tech support is getting called tomorrow. Good news is, it's still under guarantee.

Can't Read His, No You Can't Read His

I don't know whether to be ashamed or proud that this guy trains in DE.

Actual Conversation

Tucker: haha
Me: What?
Tucker: when gerard butler and the other spartans were training for the movie
Tucker: guess how many total reps they did?
Me: 300.
Tucker: exactly
Me: It boggles the mind.
Me: I have to go drop off a final.
Tucker: indeed
Tucker: i have to go drop off a deuce
Tucker: not really
Tucker: but it sounded like the right time to say it
Me: It was a nice segue.
Tucker: ooh, you spelled it correctly

Wake Up Call

No, this post is not about a Maroon 5 song of the same name. It was a legit wake up call.

Around 7:50 this morning, about an hour before my alarm clock goes off (9 AM. That's right, I'm a college student), I hear Fountains of Wayne "Hey Julie" and vibration from my desk, which is my Dad's ringtone.

I pick up and it's him, stuck in traffic, calling to tell me that Guns n' Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" was on the radio, and proceeds to hold up the phone to the radio so I can hear buzzing and faint screaming from Axl Rose.

If this post sounds like I'm pissed, really, I'm not. Dad does this a lot, actually, just not usually in the morning. It's usually when there's Barry White on the radio, just because "Can't Get Enough of Your Love" is the parental embarrassment song that he and Mom sing in public sometimes. Or sometimes when my sister's having her 17th birthday party in the basement and they're listening to rap, which usually ends in "Where did I go wrong? At least I have one daughter with good taste" in a forlorn voice.

Getting Animated

It's been a while since I posted (and by a while, I mean Monday), but i just got to KellyPaul's animation final screening and there's live music for one of the projects. How fun and trippy.

(Even more fun and trippy? This was posted from my cell phone during the animation show. I know!)

I Will Be A Horrible Mother

My fish died, and I honestly couldn't tell you when it happened.

I look over at my fish bowl, complete with typewriter, and started looking for ZZ, so named for his long red scales off his chin that made him look like ZZ Top. I see him floating towards the top, and so I nudge the bowl. His little fins didn't move anymore, and he just kind of drifted with the waves of the water towards the side. I poked him, and he sank.

(Affirmative. I poked one, it was dead)

I did all I could do. I took him to his final resting place and whistled "Taps" as I flushed him to heaven.

Breaskfast is Safe Again

This is according to BBC News and the medical experts that they interviewed regarding the swine flu spreading throughout Mexico and the US.

Is it safe to eat pig meat?

Yes. There is no evidence that swine flu can be transmitted through eating meat from infected animals.

However, it is essential to cook meat properly. A temperature of 70C (158F) would be sure to kill the virus.

(Thank God)

Swine Flu? iNo Gracias!

Danielle: The articles i read didn't even say where it came from.
Me: Mexico.
Danielle: Except from Mexico.
Me: The pigs in Mexico.
Me: Just like Bird Flu started in like China.
Danielle: It's strange.
Me: Right?
Danielle: Oh well. I highly doubt it'll be a pandemic.
Me: I hope not.
Me: Because I fucking love bacon.
Danielle: Exactly!
Danielle: Don't take my bacon away.
Me: Give me liberty or give me bacon.
Danielle: I really only need the bacon.

The Family Network

My parents just got "married" after like 24 years of being married. Confused? Jill was.

I know I've already talked about this at length in last week's Ithacan article, but in that article I couldn't write about my own family. Which sucks, because they're quite a crew. And now they all seem to be on Facebook, which amuses me to no end. And I can tell you for a fact, every person in this picture has a profile. No joke.

My family on Facebook isn't anything too horribly new. When I first logged on, my cousins Amanda, Emily, and Hannah were already there, so we were "friends" pretty early on. More and more cousins joined up (Nathan was recent, as were Janet and Amanda), and therefore more and more Palombos were friends with me. But not those creepers that tried to friend me based on name. Hear that, Mexico?

My immediate family getting online started when Dad went on YNIA, and all the kiddlings on that trip wanted to keep in touch with him, and tag him in their photos. He had no clue what that meant, so I set him up with a profile.

Corinne got one a little bit later, but that wasn't a huge surprise. She's in high school, it's kind of what you do. You complain about J Research, you talk about how worried you are about college, you post your pictures, and send stupid bumper stickers. Plus, it took her longer than Dad because the girl barely checks her e-mail.

Mom got on like 2 months ago so she could look at my pictures from California. Now normally that would freak some people the hell out, but since I didn't do anything wild and crazy I figured why not? And then as soon as she got on, I get friend requests from Aunt Dori, Aunt Kathy (who sends me nothing but forwards, but I love her anyway), and Mom's BFFs Margaret and Tim (who I've known since like birth).

It's so funny, to see a college school project turn into a way for 40 somethings to talk about their kids.

Your Sweeper Can Suck It

Yet another war has broken out in Bogart. And this one started over...a vacuum.

That's right. VACUUM.

We started talking about perhaps the most heated topic next to religion and political views: Midwestern Slang. See, Allie and inexplicably, PA born & bred KellyPaul both use the words "tennis shoes" for sneakers, "pop" for soda, "suckers" for lollipops, and "sweepers" for vacuums. Morgan and I choose to use the correct words the East Coast versions of those terms

I'm not even going to touch the "pop" argument, because it never ends well. I argue that sneakers is the better word, because they're not just for tennis. They're also basketball shoes, walking shoes, running shoes, baseball shoes, too rainy to wear sandals shoes, and Chuck Taylors. And I do admit that "suckers" does make sense, although I still prefer "lollipop" because that's what I'm used to.

I have a problem with the "sweepers" argument. A huge problem with it.

See, "sweepers" are brooms. They sweep. Or they're the big things that clean up the streets after a wild night of drinking and partying in New Orleans, like the sucker (sorry, lollipop) seen at right.

Vacuums suck. They do not sweep. And yes, both have two vowels in a row, but I argue that two "U"s next to each other is exponentially cooler than two "E"s. Vacuums are designed to suck up all the crap on your floor, not sweep it into a corner.

To be polite, your names are illogical. To be crass, your words are stupid. and it seems to me that your belligerence on these terms and refusal to give up your foolish ways can only mean one thing. Morgan Pepper of 205 and Alexandra Palombo of 209 of the Glorious Dorm of Bogart do hereby declare Lingo War on Alexandria Taylor of 213 and KellyPaul Paul of Hood Dorm 214.

(It's on like Donkey Kong)

Morgan Pepper: Our #1 Source for Hot Male Nudity

But seriously, though.

Walking back from Soup Supper at chapel tonight, we somehow got to talking about movies that were good, and what defined good, which somehow got to talking about One Hour Photo. I think it was because Kristyne was creeping with her camera...

Anyway, once we were on the topic of One Hour Photo, I said I wanted to see it. Morgan says "It's really good. Michael Vartan is naked in it."

KellyPaul says "Morgan, you only think it's good because someone's naked in it."

Morgan replies, "Yeah, because it's Michael Vartan." Which...I am inclined to agree with. Yum.

Which got me to thinking. Morgan has said before that she wanted to see movies because hot boys got naked. She watched 17 Again for this guy from Weeds, and at any moment could tell you if a hot boy gets nude in a movie. This can only mean one thing.

Clearly, Morgan was meant to work for Flesh of the Stars.

My Favorite Things: Frontline

They're perhaps the best documentaries made these days, but Michael Moore isn't involved. They're not shown in movie theaters, but they make it to DVD. They're bold, they're engrossing, and they're made possible by PBS viewers like you. This is Frontline, and I'm pretty much in love.

I'll be honest, I've never really watched PBS (except for in my Sesame Street days, and the few times I've actually watched the BBC World News rather than reading it online). And even this, I don't really watch on PBS, I watch it online. But the fact that something I had to watch for class can hold my interest in my free procrastinating papers time is new to me, and I think the series deserves far more attention.

It's informative. I learned a ton from it, whether I was watching "Young and Restless in China" as I talked about in a previous post, or "News Wars," or "The Choice 2008." Even more, it's fascinating, and it's great investigative and documentary journalism, and I would pee myself if I ever got to work there. So my advice to you is to go check it out, because it's severely underrated and you might learn something.

Efficient But Deadly

So Renee and I were in Euro today while our classmates taught us about the Italian mafia families and how they operate (more or less). As they talked about them branching out to other countries, we started talking about what a Swedish mafia would look like (at which time I really wanted to call up Sarah and see if she would know). Enter the following conversation:

Me: They'd shop at Ikea and be really efficient.
Renee: They'd all be dressed in H&M.
Me: They would all have great health coverage.
Renee: And they'd all drive these really nice Volvos with the top down and listen to ABBA.

So imagine my surprise that the Svensk Maffia is a huge problem. See? This is what happens when Renee and I joke about stupid shit in Euro. We turn out to be surprisingly right.

Maybe If It were Brangelina

I kind of hate it when celebrities are overtly political.

Don't get me wrong, I am plenty worried about the people dying in Darfur, and I'm completely appalled that the world is doing so little about it.

But according to BBC News, actress Mia Farrow will be starting a hunger strike next week in solidarity with the people of Darfur. My only question is this: does anyone care about Mia Farrow anymore?

I mean, she was great in Rosemary's Baby. And it does suck that her daughter married Woody Allen (Farrow's ex-boyfriend, in a plot straight out of a Woody Allen film). But other than adopting insane amounts of kids, does she really have that much impact anymore?

I mean, if Brangelina were going on hunger strike, the world would take notice and shit would get done.

Why No Often-Posts?

As this man to my right would say, I'm under pressure.

Three papers due in one week (one tomorrow which I finished, one Wednesday that I started reading the book for, and one Friday which I've done pretty much nothing for). Presentation next week.

Finals are fast approaching, so blogs will be sporadic when I'm procrastinating.

Why Read F My Life?

"Yeah, like ok maybe i said dude during a presentation, but some guy just accidentally swallowed a grimy guy's fingernail on a subway. so i'm thinking my day's a win." - Laura Gray

Killing Russell Brand, Trent Lane Plays Miles, Hotel California, and 5 Reasons Why Chang Should Be On Lost

See, now this is what happens when I watch Lost with Kristyne, Allie, and KellyPaul (one word).

First off, there's a dead body on Lost. I don't know who it is, but it really looked like Russell Brand. Which I would be really upset if it was, because I love that crazy limey.

Logically, I knew it wasn't him. I mean, this isn't 30 Rock, there are no crazy celebrity cameos, no matter how much they're rumored.

Furthermore, young Miles was a BAMF. We all agreed that a few piercings on a guy were okay (maybe one in the ear; supposedly, an ear piercing on a guy means he'd be a good husband. He knows pain, and he's good at picking out jewelry), but all over your face? No thank you. He had them in his ears (all up in, up and down the ridge), in his nose, in his eyebrow, and three making an odd face on his chin.
So basically, he looked like Trent Lane from Daria. Not that this is a bad thing, I thought Trent was pretty hot for a cartoon character. And I sort of have a thing for Asian guys, so to me, Miles is pretty sexy (more without the piercings than with, I gotta say).

Somewhere after talking about the Miles/Trent resemblence, Kelly Paul mentioned that the people on the island "can check out any time you like/but you can never leave," which I never noticed before, but is totally legit. The island is totally Hotel California.

Funny, never thought an Eagles reference would make it onto this blog...

Moving on. We also decided as a group that beloved film professor/Korean chef Chang should totally make an appearance on Lost. Here are our (Letterman rip-off) Top 5 Reasons Why Chang Should Appear on Lost.

5) He would make way better Dharma Initiative videos than the crap-ass director they have employed now.
4) He would beat up the polar bears with his wooden stick.
3) Writers already established potential family members with Dr. Chang and Miles.
2) When everyone on the island gets sick of boar meat and fish, he could make kim-chi quesadillas.
1) In Kristyne's words, "It's Chang."

Outkast, But Better

I generally think that acoustic covers of rap songs are stupid or funny. But as I was flipping channels tonight and came upon Ted singing "Hey Ya" acousticly at a wedding? I was in love, and had to find the song. And I did. Turns out Mat Weddle of Obadiah Parker did a killer cover, and it's romantic and sweet sounding. It's the key signature.

So suck it, Andre 3000. Someone was even more innovative than you.

And for the record? I think Sam Lloyd (Ted on Scrubs) did a better version. But I couldn't find it.

Update!

Just got the real DVD.
Fox can suck it, they're not getting the original one back. It's going on my wall.

DVD Fail

DVD Special Features usually come with:
A) Deleted Scenes
B) Making Of Featurettes
C) Director Commentaries
D) None of the above, if it's my copy of Slumdog Millionaire.

As you can tell from this blog, there are few movies that I've been as obsessed about as Slumdog Millionaire. So when the opportunity came to own it, I was on it like white on rice.

My parents got to watch it first, and I decided to test the DVD out here on the laptop today. I had already seen the movie, so I decided to try the special features out (really, I wanted to hear the commentary with director Danny Boyle and actor Dev Patel. More on that later) and see if they were good.

So when I clicked on the Special Features bar, I was unpleasantly surprised to find that there were about 3 measly trailers for, like, The Secret Life of Bees, and nothing else. No commentaries, no deleted scenes, no blooper reels, nothing.

As it turns out, mine wasn't an isolated incident. FOX made a ton without special features to send to rental places like Blockbuster, but they accidentally made it out to the stores (like Wal-Mart, where I got mine). So I had to go on a website and register it so I could get a good copy in about 2-3 days. So if this happened to you, call 1-888-233-4FOX. Otherwise? Just laugh at people like me who got a piece of Oscar-winning DVD FAIL.

It's A Hallway With Planes Attached

I think Ithaca Tompkins Regional Airport is the cutest thing I've ever seen. It is, essentially, a hallway with planes attached. Seriously, people, the Pyramid Mall is bigger than this airport.

You walk in the doors, and there's like 8 people to the right at those check-in desks. I already had my boarding pass, so I got to bypass that (after going there and her smiling and politely telling me I didn't have to talk to her).


Next, you walk through this bright airy lobby, where there's a model plane hanging from the roof. To the right, there's a cafe/gift shop (for all your "Ithaca is Gorges" T-Shirt needs) and to the left there's the car rental place/ baggage claim, which I didn't even see a carousel for (but I could be wrong, I took a quick glance). Ahead of you is security, which didn't take long, although I didn't have much stuff. The guy there looked at my license and started asking me questions about the Border Cafe and if I knew his family (who were teachers) in Newark. Which greatly amused me.

Past the security are the gates. All 6 of them. In a big room. You walk out of them outside to little ladders up to the planes. And in long breaks between flights? They kick you back out past security to the cafe. Which...is really funny.

College. Love. Babies. DRAMA!

Let's make this perfectly clear. Kristyne got about 3 hours of sleep last night. So coherent, in control of her wits...she is not.

We decided to head up to Towers for dinner, because we hadn't in a while. And I can't really write down the entire conversation, but I know this for sure: I wish I had the film assignment to make dialogue out of a conversation, because this was a doozy.

At some point, Kristyne laid out her life ambitions in the following order:
1) Filmmaker
2) Farmer/Space Cowboy (Billy Bob Thornton)
(I'll get back to you on the rest).
3) Spanish singer.
4) Bounty Hunter.

We explained why there was unleavened bread at mass to Casey, and then Kristyne jumped in with "That's why we have this wafer shit, instaed of like a loaf of bread. And there'd be crumbs."

And then we were talking about inventions, and how she wanted to make a slate with blades to keep her film crew on the ball. A slate guillotine. This was the quote. Dead serious.

"I'm gonna get this freshman to work on my film shoot, and he'll say 'I don't want to,' and then I'll cut off—LOOK A CARDINAL!"

This was after several other awkward staring contests, a rambling rant about how the pierogies were too healthy for her (they were baked, and they were delicious), singing in Spanish how she didn't want to go to FLEFF, and a few other things.

Girl needs sleep. Bad.

Pleasant Surprises At 9 AM EST

Say what you want about her teaching, but my News I teacher has great timing.

I got an e-mail this morning around 9 AM telling me that she had the flu and therefore class would be cancelled until our next class on Monday.

Meanwhile, I was freaking out about getting a professor interview for my Facebook article (which I have to write tonight rather than tomorrow) and when I would do it, because the schedule was supposed to go as follows:

(10 AM - 11:40 AM) News I
(12 PM - 1 PM) Tabling in Campus Center for Cake Magazine
(1 PM - 1:50 PM) Democracies & Dictatorships
(2 PM - 2:50 PM) European Politics
(4 PM - 5:15 PM) Politics of Security in East Asia

Now? Scratch that first part and fill in "Interview with Interpersonal Communications Professor." Really, this was a live saver.

Fabric Psychic

Laura: so....im reading about rabies
Laura: ....odd
Me: Especially when you should be learning about top stitches on low viscosity rayon.
*pause*
Laura: thats kinda creepy cuz he definitely was just mentioning rayon when you wrote that...

Mad Libs Night: Updates ASAP

The girl should be an actress, not a director/producer. More to come soon.

8:48 PM EST
My turn. I swear, I can do broadcasting better than this.

10:32 PM EST
Kelly Paul's turn. Girl can keep a straight face like no other, but really, Morgan laughing through this is almost worth it in it of itself.

8:31 AM EST, 4/6/09
The rest. Starting with Morgan/Kelly Paul.

And then Casey...

And then Allie...

And then a RAVE. With Kristyne/David Blaine at the end.

The Most Not-Drunk Drunk People You'll Meet

Let it be known: I love my floormates. The BoGirls, if you will.

We decided not to go out last night, but rather to stay in, yell at Scene It? a little more (which we've pretty much memorized all the questions, so that was over before it began), and then we decided to watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights, which I had never seen.

...which we never finished. Because Kristyne busted out the Mad Libs.

The night then veered into the weird and awkward-funny territory it often does with us. Kristyne turned on some dance music, and that's when things went weird. We watched SNL for Phoenix (who were really excellent), and then we hung out some more.

The Mad Libs videos will follow. The one of me will make you ill, both because I look gross and because of Kristyne's camera work.

Brunch Quote of the Week

"Did you guys watch ER's finale?" - Morgan
"No. Who watches ER? How old are you?" - Monica

Very close second:
"So I had really 2 awesome characters for my movies..." - Kristyne

(I love my floormates)