The Dharma Dead Baby Joke

Kristyne: What a whore.
Anne: No, she's not.
Me: If I looked like that and those guys were around, I would have a TON of babies.
Anne: No you wouldn't.
Me: Why not?
Anne: Because you'd be dead.

The Owner Already Pissed 'Cause We Sorta Late

As card carrying college kids, Matt, Matt's girlfriend Amanda, Amanda, Kristyne, Anne, Kara, and I all decided to partake in what college kids do on Saturday nights. Meaning we had some drinks (Pepsi, calm down), piled into Kara's car (we figured that Green Hornet would stuff us into one of their cars after they made a drug run and charge us $3 for it, at last Kara's ride was free and has an old handicapped parking sticker so we can get good spots), and drove down to a bar/club, in this case, The Haunt. As far as local hangouts go, The Haunt is one of the more popular clubs in the area. A little sketchy, but it could be worse. It could be...Pancho Villa.

*shudder*

Moving on. We decided to go because we heard that girls get in for free before 11 PM. And I do admit, we were cutting it close. We didn't know exactly where it was, so we decided to simply trail a Green Hornet and hope it was going to the right place. It wasn't, it ended up going to Pancho Villa and we had no choice but to stop at the Mobil and ask directions. After arriving, we decided to look cute and ditch our coats in the car (not the brightest idea we had, it was about 30 degrees out and we were rocking cute, going-out camis), take some pictures in the parking lot (like the one above), and hope for the best. We got into the club, but at 11:03, meaning we had to pay the $7 cover (which was total BULLSHIT, Kara's phone said 11 on the dot).

Whatever. We got in, started having a good time, started making fun of the dancing styles of other clubgoers and non-clubgoers (although that last picture isn't cute for anyone involved, it was pretty damn funny at the time), and generally enjoyed the "Mardi Gras" dance. I got some beads (for free, I was not about to flash) and decided to throw them back on stage for the skanks there to fight over. We tried to take a break out on the deck, but that's where everyone was smoking, so we went back in. We struggled not to watch the car-wreck of flashers on the stage (tough, because one girl took her top off completely for all the beads and wouldn't put it back on), and then the trouble started.

Apparently, Amanda, Matt, and Kristyne were laughing really loudly at our dumb pictures, and the ladies in front of us got ticked off about that. Frankly, we weren't too thrilled because they were smoking inside, but we didn't say anything about it. Thinking that if we stopped laughing so loud they wouldn't bother us, we stopped and moved elsewhere. But these chicks wouldn't leave us alone. They decided to be really civilized about the whole situation and throw their drinks in our faces. We moved again, and thankfully they left us alone until we got out to the parking lot where we ran, got in the car, and left. Unfortunately, we didn't get to have much more fun because a few other drunk skanks decided to have a huge catfight that ended in blood on the dance floor, the cops arresting people outside, and the party ending an hour before it was supposed to. We ended up in Amanda's room with DP Dough and Stephen Colbert.

I wonder what ever happened to Weird Al...

Tech-Gifted Asian Babies?

Amanda: Did you just say "Hi" to that guy? Or did he say something to you?
Me: No, I said "Hi" to him. That's Jesse, he's my friend from World Civ.
Amanda: Oh. I thought you were being a creeper.
Me: Yeah, totally. I planned on seducing random Asian guys and making really good looking babies. They'll have his technological skills and my good looks.
Amanda: Yeah, okay.
Me: Yeah, that's not completely true.
*pause*
Me: He has no tech skills.
Amanda: What?
Me: Nevermind.

I Miss My Interrupting Chelsea

Alex: Oh, I love looking at old pictures.
Chelsea: man me too
Alex: I mean, as if my wall didn't have enough.
Alex: I just found one from Christmas here and my friend (future roommie) Kristyne is holding on to me and my friend Anne is trying to get my dress over my head because I fell in the mud. I had clothes on underneath, but the Egypt dress from senior year was too small under the bust and therefore I needed asistance trying to get it off after I slipped and fell on my ass in the mud.
Chelsea: that sounds like a fabulous picture
Alex: It's funny.
Alex: I think it's in the profile album.
Chelsea: im going to go look
Alex: Okay, I'm going to go to the pub to get lunch and rewrite this skit.
Chelsea: you know what alex
Alex: What?
Chelsea: i wish you lived here and went to UD
Alex: Sorry, dear, that's what makes my visits more fun.
Chelsea: and im not sure about the groups
Alex: I would live with you, but I can't!
Chelsea: I would so be your roommate
Alex: Well, if you're up for a 4.5 hour commute...
Chelsea: eff no

To Start, A Fond Farewell

I thought I ought to show some respect to the man that inspired this blog's title. Howard Cogan is perhaps the best advertiser for a college and an area in New York, to the point where "What Not to Wear" is calling out the cheesy goodness of a pun that he created, and to the point where Urban Dictionary has an entry explaining it. Howard? Your mind is GORGES.

(From Political Gateway's news)

Cogan, coined 'Ithaca is Gorges,' dies

ITHACA, N.Y., Feb. 18 (UPI) -- Howard Cogan, the ad man who coined the marketing phrase "Ithaca is Gorges" for the New York town in the 1970s, has died if Alzheimer's at age 78.
Cogan, who died this past weekend, never profited from the slogan that has adorned T-shirts, bumper stickers and all manner of marketing merchandise in Ithaca for years, WSYR-TV in Syracuse reported Monday. He said he only wanted to create something people would remember about Ithaca after they left the city.

Diane Gayeski, associate dean of Ithaca College's Park School of Communications, remembered Cogan, who ran his own ad agency, for his "great sense of humor and a great love of the area and so it's not surprising that he would come up with something that clever."