I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

As I was Googling myself today for kicks, I found my old quote pages and I had forgotten how funny they were and how much I've learned from my friends. So sit back and relax as I reminisce about what my friends from high school taught me.

Brandon Plaster's Guide to Afghani Foreign Policy
"Taliban! Bang bang bang bang bang! Taliban, shoot you in the face, Taliban!"

Will Hopkins and Tucker Sherry on Figurative Language
"I've decided that I'm gonna use random analogies that make little to no sense." - Will
"Like a Texan." - Tucker

Kim Morton on The Titanic Tragedy
"Enough of this exposition. Bring on the water."

The Louisa White School of Police Sound Effects
"Whiiiiioooooo!"

Chelsea Johnstone on Poetry of Authority Figures
"Did you know Frat has 150 published works, including poems?" - Me
"So did the Pope. It doesn't mean they're good." - Chelsea

The Lidia Jin School of Avoiding Calculus Quizzes
"But it's the 6th day of Hannukah!"

Chelsea Johnstone on Class Participation
"Don't put me in direct view!"

Wes Crampton on Procrastination
"Brian! Guess what day it is? It's EVENTUALLY!"

The Tucker Sherry School of Courtesy*Sneeze* - Jimmy
"Bless you." - Me
*Sneeze* - Jimmy
"Bless you." - Me & Tucker
*Sneeze* - Jimmy
"You better fucking stop that." - Tucker

Mariellen Boyle on The Children of Oedipus
"I wanna see the kids; their genes are all DuPont-ed out."

The Chris Tharp School of Intimidation
"I demand you open this door or I'll be forced to...break in with force."

Terry Wu on Early North American Settlements
"The Puritans were chillin' in their cribs."

Mariellen Boyle on Understanding Sports
"Wait, cut the what and run where?"

Jason Chandler on Music Theory
"That's stacatto, you douche bags."

Justin Rathemanner on Swimming Technique
"Fat kids don't skinny dip, they chunky dunk."

Laura Gray and Rachel Kozlowski on Geometric Needlework
"This is what Charter has done to me. I got bored making square pillows, so I made a tetrahedron." - Rachel
"The fact that you just called it a tetrahedron is what scares me." - Laura

Kyle Benson on Racial Identity
"I was Hispanic once...no, really, I was!"

Ethan Beswick on Cooking
"Hey, Ethan, how'd you get raisins this big?" - Kim
"Hey, Kim, what happens when you put dehydrated fruit in liquid?" - Ethan

Dash Hause and Mariellen Boyle on Eastern European Affairs
"They formed Czechoslovakia. And then they broke up. And got back together. And broke up again." - Dash (on Czech Republic & Slovakia)
"And then they went on Montel." - Mariellen

Amanda Olsen and Dave Pizzuto on Relative Intelligence
"Dave, you're smart, right?" - Amanda
"In theory." - Dave

I'm sure more is to come...