I'm Actually Proud of E!

But really!

I'm not a fan of reality TV (unless it's some variant of Top Chef or Project Runway). I'm REALLY not a fan of MTV. So naturally, I like other rational human beings fail to see why the fuck the world cares about these two freaks in the banner. I don't know why they're famous, I don't know why the news spends so much time focusing on them, and I don't even know why I'm talking about it right now.

Oh, right, E! poll.

But yeah, after overexposing them, E! has decided to hold a poll for all their watchers/online readers: to Speidi, or not to Speidi? I naturally voted no, and I encourage all of you to do the same. Now if only they would do this with the Gosselins, JoBros, and Miley...

The Somali Booty Call

Again, news sites of the world. Keep an eye on your headlines, because they don't mean what you think they might. Kanye West did not get a Pap Smear, he actually beat up a photographer.

Just the same, I'm pretty sure the Somali pirates didn't make a booty call. I know that "booty" also means loot, and if you're a pirate, you're known to get booty. But this does not imply, as the BBC News Service did, that they made a booty call.

Get it right, guys. I'll let it slide because this is the BBC, and because this slip makes sense. E!Online, however, is not forgiven for the pap smear headline. If for no other reason, they made me look up these entries of what "pap smear" means on Urban Dictionary. You're welcome.

Maybe If It were Brangelina

I kind of hate it when celebrities are overtly political.

Don't get me wrong, I am plenty worried about the people dying in Darfur, and I'm completely appalled that the world is doing so little about it.

But according to BBC News, actress Mia Farrow will be starting a hunger strike next week in solidarity with the people of Darfur. My only question is this: does anyone care about Mia Farrow anymore?

I mean, she was great in Rosemary's Baby. And it does suck that her daughter married Woody Allen (Farrow's ex-boyfriend, in a plot straight out of a Woody Allen film). But other than adopting insane amounts of kids, does she really have that much impact anymore?

I mean, if Brangelina were going on hunger strike, the world would take notice and shit would get done.

Think Before You Abbreviate

Think before you post, E!Online. I know you what you were going for (Kanye West beating up a photographer). But you can't just abbreviate that stuff. Kanye's not an OB/GYN.
Celebrity news fail.