College, As Defined by Sheldon

In my quest to watch as much Big Bang Theory as possible, I've come across perhaps the best characterization of college parties I've ever seen on a television show. Sheldon and Leonard have it pretty down pat.

"Like Jane Goodall observing the apes, I initially saw their interactions as confusing and unstructured, but patterns emerged. They have their own...language, if you will."
"Go on."
"Well it seems that the newcomer approaches the existing group with the greeting 'How wasted am I?' which is met with an approving chorus of 'Dude.'"
" Then what happens?"
"That's as far as I've gotten.

The Somali Booty Call

Again, news sites of the world. Keep an eye on your headlines, because they don't mean what you think they might. Kanye West did not get a Pap Smear, he actually beat up a photographer.

Just the same, I'm pretty sure the Somali pirates didn't make a booty call. I know that "booty" also means loot, and if you're a pirate, you're known to get booty. But this does not imply, as the BBC News Service did, that they made a booty call.

Get it right, guys. I'll let it slide because this is the BBC, and because this slip makes sense. E!Online, however, is not forgiven for the pap smear headline. If for no other reason, they made me look up these entries of what "pap smear" means on Urban Dictionary. You're welcome.

Brad Collins Has An Evil Twin

I'm convinced. After watching a few of those Wendy's "Frosty Posse" ads, I've decided that the goofball at the end of the commercial at first glance holds a passing resemblence to Bogart Boy Brad Collins. Thoughts? I'm pretty sure he kind of does. Mainly because, I could totally see him doing this.

Ice Cream, STAT!

There are times when you can really see how dull Delaware is on a Saturday night, and how little is happening out there. Tonight was one of those nights.

Corinne and I decided to go to Woodside Creamery, because we were craving ice cream (and because it's arguably the best in the area, because they make their own from the milk from the cows they keep on the same farm). So we grabbed her two friends that were helping her with her project and drove over. The line wasn't too bad, and we got our ice cream pretty quick. I even ran into Mary while I was there.

We then see the Mill Creek Ambulance and the emergency services truck pull up one right after the other to the gravel driveway. We start looking around for a crowd of people, or some sort of emergency. Was there a fire? Car accident? Had someone had a heart attack, or started seizing? The sirens weren't on, what was going on?

No. The paramedics just had a case of the munchies, and took a field trip—in the ambulance, with emergency services truck in tow—to go get some ice cream. There are probably hundreds of emergencies around the area, like kids celebrating the end of finals at UD with some good old fashioned alcohol poisoning, and the paramedics are here at Woodside getting some peppermint chocolate chip.

Ah, Delaware. How I missed your dullness.

I Want to Hate McDonald's, But I Can't

See, now it's marketing like this that makes me like fast food chains. It's too adorable to deny.

Parting Is Such Sweet ;'(

Julez: Hey i have to go prevent a friend from declaring his undying love for a girl who doesn't really know who he is
Julez: i'll bbl

"Don't Question It, Just Do It!"

This is probably the funniest TV Funhouse short ever called "Maraka." It's a Dora spoof, and when you get a minute, watch it. Seriously.

The Nuclear Holocaust Starts at Kohl's

Just when I thought it would be a Lazy Sunday, I got called into work over at Kohl's. It's an odd feeling, really. I never want to go to work, but once I get there, I'm good. The people are nice (I was working with Cassandra, Whitney, Holly, Ryann, Brian, and Edna) and it wasn't too fast or slow.

But then a roach showed up.

I hear squealing from Ryann and Holly and think it's a spider. I was fully ready to step on the thing until I look over the counter and see this huge ass roach taking a stroll by register 13.

"Don't step on it, it'll crunch!" Holly says, backing away. She grabbed a hard tag Tupperware holder and put that over top, then slid a sale poster underneath to trap it. She tried to pick it up, but that didn't work out so well and ended with more squealing. They called Rito up and he just laughed, picked the roach holder up, and walked out the front door to set him free into the wild of the parking lot.

I bet that roach ended up in AC Moore 20 minutes later.

In Honor of Hump Day

Because nothing says "Hump Day" like Jorma Taccone humping a sax to the Fleet Foxes.

Can't Read His, No You Can't Read His

I don't know whether to be ashamed or proud that this guy trains in DE.

Morgan Pepper: Our #1 Source for Hot Male Nudity

But seriously, though.

Walking back from Soup Supper at chapel tonight, we somehow got to talking about movies that were good, and what defined good, which somehow got to talking about One Hour Photo. I think it was because Kristyne was creeping with her camera...

Anyway, once we were on the topic of One Hour Photo, I said I wanted to see it. Morgan says "It's really good. Michael Vartan is naked in it."

KellyPaul says "Morgan, you only think it's good because someone's naked in it."

Morgan replies, "Yeah, because it's Michael Vartan." Which...I am inclined to agree with. Yum.

Which got me to thinking. Morgan has said before that she wanted to see movies because hot boys got naked. She watched 17 Again for this guy from Weeds, and at any moment could tell you if a hot boy gets nude in a movie. This can only mean one thing.

Clearly, Morgan was meant to work for Flesh of the Stars.

Efficient But Deadly

So Renee and I were in Euro today while our classmates taught us about the Italian mafia families and how they operate (more or less). As they talked about them branching out to other countries, we started talking about what a Swedish mafia would look like (at which time I really wanted to call up Sarah and see if she would know). Enter the following conversation:

Me: They'd shop at Ikea and be really efficient.
Renee: They'd all be dressed in H&M.
Me: They would all have great health coverage.
Renee: And they'd all drive these really nice Volvos with the top down and listen to ABBA.

So imagine my surprise that the Svensk Maffia is a huge problem. See? This is what happens when Renee and I joke about stupid shit in Euro. We turn out to be surprisingly right.

Why Read F My Life?

"Yeah, like ok maybe i said dude during a presentation, but some guy just accidentally swallowed a grimy guy's fingernail on a subway. so i'm thinking my day's a win." - Laura Gray

Outkast, But Better

I generally think that acoustic covers of rap songs are stupid or funny. But as I was flipping channels tonight and came upon Ted singing "Hey Ya" acousticly at a wedding? I was in love, and had to find the song. And I did. Turns out Mat Weddle of Obadiah Parker did a killer cover, and it's romantic and sweet sounding. It's the key signature.

So suck it, Andre 3000. Someone was even more innovative than you.

And for the record? I think Sam Lloyd (Ted on Scrubs) did a better version. But I couldn't find it.

Mad Libs Night: Updates ASAP

The girl should be an actress, not a director/producer. More to come soon.

8:48 PM EST
My turn. I swear, I can do broadcasting better than this.

10:32 PM EST
Kelly Paul's turn. Girl can keep a straight face like no other, but really, Morgan laughing through this is almost worth it in it of itself.

8:31 AM EST, 4/6/09
The rest. Starting with Morgan/Kelly Paul.

And then Casey...

And then Allie...

And then a RAVE. With Kristyne/David Blaine at the end.

The Most Not-Drunk Drunk People You'll Meet

Let it be known: I love my floormates. The BoGirls, if you will.

We decided not to go out last night, but rather to stay in, yell at Scene It? a little more (which we've pretty much memorized all the questions, so that was over before it began), and then we decided to watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights, which I had never seen.

...which we never finished. Because Kristyne busted out the Mad Libs.

The night then veered into the weird and awkward-funny territory it often does with us. Kristyne turned on some dance music, and that's when things went weird. We watched SNL for Phoenix (who were really excellent), and then we hung out some more.

The Mad Libs videos will follow. The one of me will make you ill, both because I look gross and because of Kristyne's camera work.

Poisson d'Avril

I always thought April Fool's Day was the day where everyone told their friends they were pregnant or whatever (I stole that story from Casey in my News I Class), or when I told people that House was canceled. Apparently in France, the tradition is to put fish on people or in their bags so they smell all day. Nowadays, it's more like sticking someone with little pictures of fish—kind of like a more marine "kick me" sign. I thought I would share.

Technically, it's "The President's Office"

See, you never see Charter on TV. You can see Cab Calloway on Made, but not usually the good old CSDubs. One enterprising senior decided to change that with some frustration and some food.

On the plus side, this is the most wide vocabulary I've ever seen used on a reality show. Come on, have you ever seen the word "homogeneous" used on Rock of Love? I think not.
Once again. Charter is raising the bar.

Three Cheers for Ukrainians!

More people I must meet. For real, guys, I've never laughed this hard at 4 Ukrainians and an accordion.