Thursday, May 29, 2008

WE HAVE TO GO BACK!: The Lost Season Finale Blog

10:00 PM EST
My TV glitches in a The Mole commercial. I get worried.
10:01 PM EST
Flash-forward to a Sayid assassination. Despite the fact he just offed some dude in his car, man looks good. He walks up the stairs of an apartment complex to an apartment where Hurley is contemplatin ga chessboard. I think it's Sayid's apartment, but I can't be sure. Sayid wants Hurley to go somewhere with him, but Hurley questions why. Sayid tells him the Jeremy (I think) guy commited suicide. They're being watched. Hurley is now paranoid and delusional. Sayid says that paranoia keeps him alive. Hurley asks him if they're going back, and this time it's safe. Hurley wins the chess game against...Mr. Eko (who he delusioned).
10:04 PM EST
Back to the 'copter, they can't find the freighter, and no one goes to jump off. Jeack tells Kate they'll go back for Sawyer, and Hurley finds the boat (good for him, he would've probably been the next one voted out).
10:05 PM EST
Locke is trying to help BS live with the monitor. Ben decides to be a prick and not help him out with keeping the boat intact. BS tells Ben something about Hurley, and Ben says "Not if I find him first." The Soldier dies.
10:06 PM EST
The Boys see the red light go off. I freak as my TV glitches. They resolve to get everyone off that boat, and Michael continues to spray the thing with liquid nitrogen (way to be unoriginal, JJ Abrams, they did that on Alias and Tom Grace STILL got blown to bits in the series finale). Desmond goes to get life jackets and sees the helicopter. "Bloody hell." He tells them to go back, it's not safe on there, but they think he's trying to wave them down. Desmond tells them there's a bomb, but Lapedus doesn't care and he puts the 'copter down. Michael still keeps spraying it, but the can runs out of nitrogen. Back on deck, Desmond warns them, Sun looks confused, and they try to get some fuel. Sun won't leave without Micahel, but she tells Sun to get on the helicopter and runs to find Michael.
10:08 PM EST
Michael runs out of nitrogen. Michael tells Jin to get the hell out, get Sun, and get off the boat. He does, and tells him good luck. The 'copter is leaving, and they leave without Jin (bastards). Only the Oceanic Six are on it. Sun goes for Jin, but the helicopter leaves without Jin as he waves it down on the deck. Sun screams for him, but Lapedus won't turn around for him.
10:09 PM EST
Michael and his special effects liquid nitrogen run out. But Christian appears to him and says "Your work here is done" right before the boat blows up just as I predicted it would. Jin dies right in front of Sun. She screams. The helicopter has issues. Crick to commercial.
10:10 PM EST
Water break. As I run up the stairs I hear "that's a sacrifice I have to make" and I dash in horror to my room thinking I missed something...only to find it's a commercial for Honey Nut Cheerios. Damn you, General Mills!
10:14 PM EST
Apparently there are 3 endings to Lost. And they'll be on GMA.
1014 PM EST
Sun is freaking out and wants to find Jin, but everyone is blown up and they continue on despite her screaming. Jack looks guiltly at the wreckage as Sun almost chokes Hurley in her desperation and sets Aaron off crying. Desmond is on the helicopter, does he survive? Lapedus is asked to fly them back to the island, which he agrees to. Sun screams NO!
10:15 PM EST
Businesswoman Sun is talking to her daughter Ji Yeon. She says goodbye as she sees a bunch of business men (including Whitmore). He asks how her dad is (a golfer who he owes dinner). She confronts him, but he claims ignorance. They share common interests, and "when you're ready to discuss them, call me. As you know, we're not the only ones who left the island." (!!!!!) He quickly turns her around and asks her why she wants to help him. She doesn't respond and keeps walking.
10:17 PM EST
Locke asks Ben why he killed BS even though it blew up the boat. His "bad emotional response" got him thinking off. Locke is his apparent successor, and he continues to put metal in the hatch. Another explosion. The two duck and are safe. The metal sparks in the chamber, and Ben goes to change. Because his clothes are all wrong for blowing shit up.
10:18 PM EST
Juliet and her Dharma tequila see a hot sexy man swimming to shore in little more than cargos. Turns out it's Sawyer. Somewhere in Massachusetts, Anne is drooling and pushing pause on her TiVo. She rolls her eyes (I would've jumped him). "Nice day for a swim!" he says. She asks him why he's back, but he doesn't give her a straight answer. Juliet is drinking away her sorrows at the boat blowing up, which Sawyer didn't notice in his breaststroke back to shore. Sawyer is sad.
10:19 PM EST
Commercial. It's the Coldplay one (or as Maddy would call them, "The Chris Martin Experience") for iTunes that I love.
10:22 PM EST
I Survived A Japanese Gameshow looks awesome. Just thought I'd share. Brings me back to watching Human Tetris clips on YouTube with Callie rather than studying.
10:24 PM EST
Orchid time. Ben throws on a down jacket. Ben is leaving for "somewhere cold," and Locke isn't going with him because Ben has to suffer the consequences of what Jacob intended. Apparently, whoever moves the island can never come back. Locke is supposed to get back up the Elevator and go meet Ben's people who know what's up and will be loyal to Locke. The two men shake hands and Ben apologizes for making Locke's life so miserable. Locke asks Ben what to tell them to do. Ben tells him "you find your way, John. You always do."
10:26 PM EST
Locke's in the jungle and finds Ben's people rip-roaring and ready to go with a campsight and everything. He is the new one. Richard Alpert is there and greets him with hsi band of haggard creepers. "Welcome home," Alpert says. Locke smiles.
10:26 PM EST
Ben looks through the wreckage of the metal and finds a wormhole which he crawls into. It leads him to a ladder to a deeper hole (to China? I don't know at this point). There's a blue glass botom, which he breaks. The ladder breaks, Ben is cut, and it looks hella cold down there. At first I thought it was Antarctica with Paolo, but I don't think that's it. Ben is bleeding. He finds some weird gears that are frozen over, and he looks up like it's an alter. He says "I hope you're happy now, Jacob," and proceeds to try to turn the knobs by breaking the ice with a cane/crobar. All 90 pounds of Ben isn't getting it to work, until he uses all his might and turns the things slowly.
10:29 PM EST
That loud metallic sound from the season 2 finale (with the blinding light? Remember?) starts to eminate to everyone else on the island. It throws off chopper and people on it, and Ben continues to turn it. A weird light is coming from it like it's Narnia or some shit. The blinding light is back from season 2. And POOF! The island is gone. Into the water. Like when you throw your toys in the lake and then they don't float like they think.
10:31 PM EST
This is not good for the chopper, they were looking to set down on the island, and now that it's gone, there's nowhere to land and the chopper decides that now is a good time to run out of fuel. Lifejackets are grabbed and people prepare to hit the water. The chopper hits a rough landing, and all I can think is that it's not good for Aaron. Crash to break.
10:32 PM EST
Commercial break/water break #4. I hope there's another commercial break around 10:45.
10:36 PM EST
Opening shot of water. And bubbles. And people. For a minute, Jack looks like the Evian ad in Zoolander (you know, MERMAN!). Jack surfaces to hear everyone yelling to make sure everyone else is okay. Surprisingly, Aaron grapsed the concept of holding his breath at the tender age of 5 weeks. They find Desmond not breathing and bleeding from the head. Jack tries to CPR him as everyone watches with hope. Desmond comes to and coughs up half an ocean as he does. Everyone is relieved and yet bummed that they didn't make it. Jack says "It's okay. We're alive." Well, for now.
10:39 PM EST
Kate is sleeping (or attempting to) somewhere in the future. The phone rings, and creepy music plays. Someone is whispering on the other end, and Kate freaks out. She runs, grabs her gun from her armoire, and FINDS CLAIRE IN AARON'S ROOM as she yells "Don't you touch my son!" Claire tells her not to bring him back (to the island, and Aaron, I assume). Turns out it's a dream, and Aaron sleeps soundly in his bed. Kate breaks down crying and strokes Aaron's hand and says "I'm sorry" as he sleeps.
10:41 PM EST
Aaron sleeps as a baby on the raft. Hurley asks if they're okay. Everyone tries to sleep on the raft. Hurley says Locke moved the island, and Jack shoots him down. "Oh really? Because one minute it was there, and the next minute it wasn't. So unless we overlooked it, dude..." They see a flashlight in the distance, and Lapedus is shocked. Turns out it's a boat. They flag it down. You'd think Sayid would learn from Season 1. This is when Jack decides at this moment that they have to lie when they get back to the mainland rather than being excited. He points out the logic in his story, but Kate questions if they can pull it off. "Just let me do the talking," he says.
10:44 PM EST
The boaters are speaking some dialect of Indonesia (wish I could tell you what they mean, but I did hear "AQUI!" which in Spanish means "HERE!"). Tunrs out that Penny is on the boat, and Desmond goes up and gets her. Penny goes to see him. Romantic music swells, both smile, and they kiss. About time something good happens to him.
Desmond asked how she found her, and apparently the phone call he made when he was tripping out? She tracked him. He promises to never leave her again and they proceed to sweetly suck face.
10:46 PM EST
The others get off the boat to meet Penny, and Desmond politely introduces them all. Jack tells her they need to talk, and ominous music swells to...commercial.
10:47 PM EST
Commercial. I run to pee. Because I know if I miss something, I'll be confused for like 3 more seasons.
10:50 PM EST
A title card reading "One Week Later" pops up. Sayid tells Hurley it's called Nembata, the island they're going to on the boat. Hurley asks why they're sailing 3,000 miles to yet another island. According to Sayid, "It's to keep them safe." There's another few hours to get to the island. Jack shakes Lapedus's hand and says "I hope to never see you again." Penny hands Aaron off to Kate, and the Oceanic Six get on the raft. Desmond decides to stay on the boat with Penny, saying as long as he has her, he's fine. Jack tells him "I'll see you in another life, brotha." Probably will, too. They load up the raft and Jack says "Let's go home." They wash up on Nembata where villagers find them and help them off the raft. I am interrupted with a non-Lost related
10:54 PM EST
Jack and his Beard of Broken Dreams drive up to a funeral parlor with a Lapedus-like Band-Aid on his forehead. The home is locked. (Hoffs/Dralwar, in case it's important later.) Jack breaks the doornob wtih some sort of brick and kicks down the door to find an office room with a lone casket inside. Jack seems to be stressing out over the contents and doesn't immediately open it. It's Jeremy Bentham, and he doesn' tsign the papers for it. Inside the coffin is...
OH SHIT! Ben comes into the home and scares the shit out of Jack (and me) before we see who's inside. Jack spoke to Sayid about a month ago, and Kate came to see him. He told him after Jack left bad things happened, and that it wasn't his fault. He told him that he had to come back. Jack asks why Ben's there. Ben tells him the island won't let him come alone. All of them have to go back. I just notice now that ben is not dead. Jack says it's impossible, because he doesn' tknow where everyone is and that Hurley is insane, and Kate won't speak to him anymore. Ben offers to help with that. "This is the way it has to be, Jack, this is the only way. We have to do it together, all of you." Jack refuses, Ben pushes on with more ideas, and Jack nods resigned. "You have to bring him too." LOCKE IS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING COFFIN. LOCKE IS JEREMY _______. OH DEAR GOD THEY JUST KILLED TERRY O' QUINN.
10:59 PM EST
The season is over. Locke is dead. I am sufficiently shocked. See you in October!


Northgraves on the Hill said...

Ohhhh, Alex, how I miss you!! Because I'm me, here's a few things to correct:
Sayid was going to the Santa Rosa Mental Institution Hurley was housed at.
The dying guy (Keamy/BS) said to Ben that Charles Widmore (Penny's dad) would hunt Ben down.
Sun wouldn't leave without Jin.
I love you and your water breaks!
I am so getting up early to watch GMA tomorrow!
The guys on Penny's boat were speaking Portugese.
I was crying when Desmond and Penny reunited!!
"Jack and his Beard of Broken Dreams" has to be one of my favorite phrases of the week, if not ever.
Love ya babe!! Hilarious recap!
PS - Did you catch the ad for the Octagon Corporation or whatever (if you weren't at the bathroom/getting water)? It was a fake, Lost-related commercial!!

dysALEXic said...

Thanks for those clarifications, I was writing it AS I watched, so I didn't catch everything because my computer keyboard (my desktop) is noisy. And I saw the Octagon Corporation ad, I figured it was Lost related because it looked a little off.