Monday, April 28, 2008

Issues of the Utmost Importance

Dave: If you're still working and want me to shut up so you can concentrate, just say so and I'll make like a tree and leave.
Dave: (Couldn't think of anything less cliched.)
Me: I'm not working, I'm actually trying to caption and upload pictures.
Dave: Ahhh...important work. I see, I see.
Me: Oh, my life's goal.
Dave: What goal could be nobler than the documentation of one's and one's friends' lives on Facebook?
Me: There are a few.
Dave: (Ok, I can think of a few...)
Me: Curing cancer...
Me: World peace...
Me: Figuring out what the hokey pokey really is all about...
Dave: Net neutrality...
Dave: XD
Me: I mean really, left foot in or out? Make up your mind, goddamn it.
Dave: And why stop at the left foot?
Me: I know!
Dave: There's a whole body to shake all out.
Me: Such an indecisive dance.
Dave: And what is 'it' that you shake out, anyway?
Me: I know!
Me: It boggles my mind.
Dave: I can just see it: Philosophy 420: The Hokey Pokey: What it's All About.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Ooh Baby, I Love It When We Talk Politics...

Amanda: It's so funny... like "this is what politics minors are like when they're horny"

So started dinner's conversation theme. Eating was a longer affair than I thought it would be. Normally it's just me, Amanda, Matt, and Kristin eating, making "That's what she said" jokes for about an hour, and then heading back to our dorms to IM because we're incapable of human contact for too long. But tonight we somehow got on the topic of dirty talk (I blame Matt) and politics (I blame Amanda). I think it started because Amanda has the hots for her interviewee at CBS, and Matt & I will latch on to anything that sounds vaguely sexual. This also came up when talking about how we would think our "friend" would sound dirty talking - in essence, a huge fruit-flavored turn off.

After deciding that this friend would most likely sound like the Kool Aid Man in a phone session, we decided that thinking about this perosn in any relation to sex was wrong and we continued on talking about what dirty talk would sound like in different political situations. For example:
Amanda: I would fund his campaign anyday.
Me: They just called 5 more states for Obama. Let's go.
Matt: Hilary just lost the primary. Let's fuck.
Kristin decided to just look on in mild amusement and eat her potatoes.

That wasn't even with the following IM conversations.
Amanda: i told my ma that i was too busy to pick things out online that i want because i was too busy having a sex convo with you and she said tmi haha
Me: She thinks you're a total democratic lesbo. A democresbian.
Amanda: hahahaha
Amanda: no she knew it wasn't like that... i don't even think that she realizes that i'm a democrat haha
Amanda: I'm a closet democrat.
Amanda: A closet liberal if you will.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The Bathroom Wall

Dave: We have these big graffiti walls that they put up sometimes. They're basically big hunks of plywood that they stick over by one of the dining halls and they even supply spray paint.
Dave: Some weeird things wind up on there.
Me: Sounds like our guard backdrops.
We used to write messages to each other on the back, and it started turning into the bathroom wall.
The middle one was pretty scandalous.
Dave: There's a bathroom wall here that says 'Vandalism is LAME!'
Me: That's kind of funny.
Me: There was one at Charter that had a running story that people added to.
Even though someone wrote "And u freakin GAY" at the end, the next person kept going with that and said something about going on Ellen.
That line may have been from a guy that snuck in, since that's the sort of thing on most bathroom walls.
Dave: And my sister's named Ellen, so that's kinda sketchy.
Me: No, not your sister.
Me: They meant the gay talk show host.
Dave: Oh, that Ellen.
Me: Yes.
Me: Not your sister.
Dave: That's good to know.
Me: Yeah.
Dave: We have one semi running story in the cracks in the wall talking about 42 and how it's not 6x9.
Me: Oh goodness.
Right next to it is a few lines commanding the guy using the urinal it's in front of to 'look at the other guy's penis. DO IT'
Dave: That always makes me chuckle, since no guy would EVER do that.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Men vs. Women: Raspy Cold-Induced Voices

I'm starting a new segment on the blog called Men vs. Women, and their opinions on things. In this case, Dave and Julez. We were discussing how people feel about raspy voices from colds, and if they sound better than the average. Let's look.
Me: Because of all the ups and downs in weather now I'm sick.
Dave: Yes, truly horrible.
Me: Just a cold, but still, I'm all stuffed up.
Me: People said I sounded better than usual.
Me: Which...I didn't know how to take.
Dave: I had that a few days ago, when it was enough of spring that my allergies decided to remind me they're still around.
Me: Yup.
Dave: That' odd compliment. I'd be really confused too.
Me: I've gotten it before.
Me: Apparently I have a raspier voice when I'm HACKING UP A LUNG.
Me: Go figure.
Dave: I never would have guessed that.

Me: But I have a cold.
Me: And apparently guys think I sound sexier with it.
Me: I have a raspy voice now, and they're like, "It's kinda hot."
Julez: lol!
Me: Meaning, I sound like shit usually.
Julez: the huskiness
Me: I guess.
Julez: i dunno
Me: It's a few of my guy friends that told me.
Julez: the summer after me and alex were going out i lost my voice for a while
when i called him he was like....that sounds sexy
Julez: i was like....i lost my voice. it's horrible.
Julez: and he's like...if you get it back....can you still talk like that?
Julez: >_<
Julez: i don't get it
Julez: boys are special