Ain't No Party Like A Relay Party

Dance 'til you can't dance, 'til you can't dance no mo'.

I particularly like Matt lip-synching to all the words of "Love Shack."

Technically, it's "The President's Office"

See, you never see Charter on TV. You can see Cab Calloway on Made, but not usually the good old CSDubs. One enterprising senior decided to change that with some frustration and some food.

On the plus side, this is the most wide vocabulary I've ever seen used on a reality show. Come on, have you ever seen the word "homogeneous" used on Rock of Love? I think not.
Once again. Charter is raising the bar.

Men vs. Women: Is Moulin Rouge Basically Rent?

Tucker: the movie
Tucker: it's basically rent
Me: What is, Moulin Rouge?
Tucker: yeah
Tucker: just a century earlier and in france
Tucker: (90 years to be exact, but i carries the same sentiment)
Me: Except for fewer people and no AIDS.
Tucker: no AIDS, yes
Tucker: but
Tucker: the consumption
Tucker: which was like the AIDS back in the day
Tucker: you've got the cross-dressers, the bohemians, the love songs, the youthful and artistic optimism at the turn of the century in a huge, artistic metropolitan city
Tucker: there's a tango song scene, a burlesque/stripper song scene
Tucker: and a black guy
Tucker: the rich guy trying to take from them what they really want
Me: ...I don't think they were going for that comparison.
Tucker: i certainly was
Tucker: only difference is
Tucker: i really like moulin rouge
Me: Because of the strippers?
Tucker: nah
Tucker: mostly because of the music
Tucker: the actors
Tucker: and the just ridiculous, over-the-top...well, everything
Tucker: really funny

Me: So Tucker says Moulin Rouge and Rent are basically the same. Your thoughts?
Brooke: um, no
Brooke: I haven't seen either, but I know that they are definitely not
Brooke: (my sis is a music major; nuff said)
Me: See, that's what I thought.
Brooke: rent is a bunch of poor gay people with aids --> moulin rouge is a guy trying to get with a sexy courtesan (right? or am I thinking wrong?)
Me: You're right.
Brooke: two words I like to hear
Brooke: Tucker. UR DOIN IT WRONG.

No News I!

So I get this e-mail this morning as I was freaking out about not knowing if I had homework or not in News I.

Apparently, since she couldn't get a substitute, I have no News I class this morning. Until 1 PM, it's just me, some D&D readings, and Corn Squares cereal.

Score!

Self Promo!

This is really shameless self-promotion (well, sort of, I copy edit for this), but I want everyone who reads this to go check out Cake Zine, our little indie music magazine we started about 2 months ago. It's fun, it's a little more alternative, and I write for it and copy edit. So click here and spread the link.

So all two of you who read this, check it out.

Three Cheers for Ukrainians!

More people I must meet. For real, guys, I've never laughed this hard at 4 Ukrainians and an accordion.

Deadlines and Headlines

Okay. So to clarify.

The cheating article is happening, but for next Thursday rather than this week's issue.

The Facebook article isn't running until like April 16h.

I just cleared this up today, and quite frankly, I'm pretty relieved that I didn't have two articles (and the "write it in one day" article on Thursday) due all on the same day.

Confused? I am.

No More Cheating

So apparently, I'm not writing the cheating article. So thanks to everyone who helped.

Reason #928357 Why I Want To Be A Journalist

I must meet these two local anchors.

Year In Review (!!!!)

So in the midst of all these creeper friend requests, I find out from the editor of the Year in Review that my SOA article is making it in.

Yay!

Hey, We Share A Name! Let's Be Friends? Part 3

Believe it or not, you've already tried to friend me, you freak.

Seriously, guys, I've never really had the urge to change my name in my life. But this is getting a little ridiculous.

Plus, do you really need to say "Believe it or not, I'm also Alex Palombo!!!" ? I can clearly read that from your friend request.

And we have no friends or country in common. That should tell you something right there.

To all the Alex Palombos of the world. Unless I meet you personally? I'm not going to friend you. I'm sorry if this goes against all the internet unity and global bridging of gaps that we always talk about in globalization class. But I'm not. That's creepy.

Introduce yourself to the girl from the last post.

Hey, We Share A Name! Let's Be Friends? Part 2

This has already happened to me before, but seriously.

I only really friend people I know personally on Facebook. Call me crazy, but that's what I do.

So imagine my surprise when I get a message from Alexandra Palombo saying that "Notice how when you do a search for Alex Palombo...a very good looking group of people come up?

This isn't to deny that people named Alex Palombo aren't sexy. Because we are.

I'm just really not into this whole "I Googled my name and came up with you, let's be friends."

Cheating Cheaters Who Cheat

I need people who are willing to say that they lie cheat and steal on papers and test.

Now, I know a ton of people at Charter who did it (duh), but I need people at my college for this article.

I'm writing a story for the paper about cheating (stems from an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education about essay mills), and I haven't been able to talk to people that cheat in college. I talked to someone who used to cheat in high school (thanks!), but no one in college. I need help!

Coming Out of the Coffin

Here's the video, everyone. Be kind and rewind, show your friends, and please excuse the huge ass mark on my cheek (in a cut segment, I got punched in the face, that's supposed to be my bruise).

Big Ups to Delaware

In terms of television shout-outs, Delaware is a pretty lame place to live.

Usually, the towns the get mentioned are Los Angeles in shows like Alias and Entourage. There's usually a show in Miami, like CSI and Burn Notice. New York is constantly mentioned in shows like Dirty Sexy Money, Castle, Law & Order, The Real World, and a ton of others. New Jersey is used in dramas like The Sopranos and House. Every now and then, there's a San Francisco show like Eli Stone or Full House. But Delaware?

There are no shows there. Or movies. Usually, The Small Wonder is the butt of a joke. When it does get mentioned, it's for the military.

So I was watching The West Wing season 3 (you know, to catch up between seasons 2 and 4), and it turns out that in "The Black Vera Wang," Dover, Delaware is a target!

I know! No way! I mean, logically, it's targeted for Dover AFB, but still! It's important enough to get hit by people on TV, which means it's somewhat important!

Even more impressive? On the 30 Rock commentary in season 2, when Tina Fey and Jeff Richmond talk about how Alec Baldwin's character meets his girlfriend at an off-the-road OTB bar, it's in a town between DC and New York city called Hockessin (!!!!).

It's starting, everyone. Delaware is feeling the love.

The Mosh Post

So after finding a pretty close picture to what Zeus looked like when he was alive, I decided it was time to blog.

So yeah. Picture to the right. Kind of adorable.

Finally got to write my Facebook article, working on one about cheating cheaters who cheat at IC (if the guy every calls/emails back), and generally hoping that Relay for Life this weekend goes well.

By all means, everyone, please donate what you can. It's a fabulous cause, just go on the website and donate in my name (click here, and click donate. When it asks you to search, search for Alexandra Palombo. If it pops up with the team name "The Billie Jeans," that's us!). And by all means, chug an energy drink in my honor, because it's from 5 PM to 5 AM (because cancer doesn't sleep). It's a great cause, and it really could use more money donated. So whatever you have to give, please consider doing it.

Better Than The Real Thing

When I started this blog, I started a list of things I really didn't want to talk about on it. That list eventually grew to encompass the vampire flick which shall not be named.

Twilight. There, I said it.

So when Kristyne and her friend from home Rachel heard about a contest to be in the next Twilight movie, they were all over it. The video had to be 1 minute, and really, it was intended to be more of a cheesy minute of interviewing about fangirls screaming about how hot Robert Pattinson is (which...ew).

Instead, they shot about an hour worth of footage of Rachel having vampire powers, including telling the future (me getting punched by Derek), having super strength (lifting Derek in one hand as he did a chin-up to the tree), reading minds (agreeing with Kristyne that I was ugly. I sense a theme, here), running super fast (with the aid of some slow shutter speed on the camera), and turning people to stone (with the aid of Derek's hat and a statue in the park). There's also the testimonials

The final cut is pretty damn funny, and I'll probably post that whenever Kristyne gets it to me. The directors' cut will be way funnier, but I always seem to have trouble uploading things to Blogger. So the one-minute cut will probably be the one you'll see. So stay tuned.

Think Before You Abbreviate

Think before you post, E!Online. I know you what you were going for (Kanye West beating up a photographer). But you can't just abbreviate that stuff. Kanye's not an OB/GYN.
Celebrity news fail.

Because the Brits Have Good TV

There's been a ton of reports lately that the United States is going to start this series called "Who Do You Think You Are?" where celebrities and famous personalities go back and follow their family heritage. It's being headed up by Sarah Jessica Parker and Susan Sarandon, and NBC is developing it. I think it's really really interesting. However, for those who thought this was an entirely new concept—meaning, all the entertainment news channels—I just want to show this little tidbit.

It started in the UK, and they did a damn good job with it. So here's to hoping that this UK remake has the success of The Office rather than Coupling.

My Two Loves: Hugh Laurie & Compact Cars

Since I was editing this past Monday night, I unfortunately missed the first 15 minutes of House. Which usually wouldn't bother me much, because I don't really watch the show for the cases and the procedural. I watch it for the characters—primarily for House, Wilson, and Cuddy.

So I figured I would watch the first 15 minutes that I missed just to see the set up. Turns out they were like the 15 funniest minutes of it.

The show starts with a close-up on eyes, and my initial thought was either that A) this was the patient, or B) I was watching a Lost rerun.

But no, it turns out it was House putting something together with medical tape and tubing from an IV bag. I thought someone was hurt pretty severely. Because really, when an IV is involved, it's usually because the person is really really bad off or really really drunk.

Again, I was wrong. Turns out he was just making a homemade Hot Wheels track out of office supplies. Now this isn't the first time he's made entertainment out stuff in his office before. But this Hot Wheels track...

...this was better than the plastic one my sister had. It had tubing, it had loops, it had a plastic shark waiting to eat the car (or for it to jump the shark).

If only Cuddy hadn't caught the car at the end? Epic.

Should've Used Laundry View

I've never seen a show really nail laundry etiquette in the college sense, and really, it is a subject that should be discussed because so many people lack it. Tonight, ABC's new show (and a new favorite of mine) Castle decided to address it by having a dead body rolling around in the dryer.

The cops were talking about how the old lady found her in the dryer when she was going to take someone else's clothes out to put hers in, because someone else was being a jerk-off and left their clothes in the washer.

This brings up an interesting point: what is the appropriate grace period for commandeering a dryer? The old lady in this episode waited a full half hour for it, and then found the dead body (which one police man said served her right for going downstairs to grub through someone else's undies to use the dryer).

Now generally, I wait about 5 minutes until I go downstairs to pull someone else's laundry out of the dryer. It's rude, I understand. I really don't have much of an internal grace period because I firmly believe that when you're doing laundry, you should be there to take your stuff out. And if you're not, you should be able to deal with your clothes neatly piled on the table next to the machine. If you wait more than 5 minutes, people will take over the entire laundry room, using all 3 washers at once and being a laundry douche.

Furthermore, I don't take peoples' clothes out of the dryer until they are completely dry. I cannot stand when people take your clothes out of the dryer only 30 minutes in, because let's be honest: dryers on campus aren't that good. They do take the full hour to dry your clothes, and if you take them out halfway through, I can guarantee that your jeans and towels will still be damp to the touch. So for a woman to wait 30 minutes for someone to get their stuff out of the laundry in my eyes, is really effing polite.

This episode of Castle raises a few good questions about laundry. One, what amount of time is acceptable before someone takes over a dryer? Two, if Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson knew that illicit affairs in the laundry room could lead to murder, would Little Children ever be the same?

Kurtwood Smith's a BAMF

And he'll put a boot up your ass.


After memorable turns as Robert Sean Leonard's prick dad in Dead Poet's Society and as Eric Foreman's (funny) prick dad in That 70s Show, Kurtwood Smith decided to expand his horizons by playing...a prick senator on 24.

So three cheers for variety.

But he basically stood up to Jack Bauer this week, and that's just not done. He called Bauer out for threatening him to help an investigation with no base.

Is it wrong that I wanted him to call Jack a "Dumbass" and send him back to the Vista Cruiser?

I thought it would happen when he was on House too.

Cover Wars: The Good, The Bad, and Madonna

As discussed in the last post, cover songs are a varied bunch. They can be awesome and better than its predecessor. They can be mediocre and not worth remarking on. More often than not, they flatline the very song they're trying to revive.

For the record, Don McLean should never be revived. I'm looking at you, Christiansen New Years Eve gathering. No more. And quit it with the Bohemian Rhapsody, while you're at it.

So here's a few good ones to keep in mind. The Fugees did a good job with "Killing Me Softly" by Roberta Flack (although they could do without Wyclef's ONE TIME! in the background). I attribute this to Lauryn Hill's voice sort of sounding like Flack's. And Fountains of Wayne earned cool points for "Baby One More Time" as mentioned in the last post (Travis too, kids). I am also a big fan of The Killers doing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." And this one's a little more obscure, but Editors covering Gorillaz's "Feel Good Inc." And check out Cake's "I Will Survive" and Aqualung's "Somebody to Love." And sheerly because they took a Stevie Nicks song and made it sound good, The Dixie Chicks for "Landslide."

The ones I thought were average are versions that people seem to like more than me. While Michael Buble's "Fever" holds a special place in my heart, I feel like Peggy Lee's original is just as good. Frickin' A covering "Jesse's Girl" is okay, but not necessarily better than Rick Springfield's 80s anthem. This goes for The Ataris covering "Boys of Summer" too. And The Donnas made a good attempt at REO Speedwagon's power ballad "Keep On Lovin' You," but I wouldn't say it's better than the original. I want to say that Coldplay playing "Can't Get You Out of My Head" by Kylie Minogue is superior to the original, but really, it's about equal—Coldplay has the advantage of Chris Martin's voice and the band backing him, but Kylie Minogue has the advantage of synthesizers and her own voice.

As far as the bad ones go? I would vote Mariah Carey covering "Bringin' On The Heartache" by Def Leppard was a crime against my ears. Sheryl Crow covering "Sweet Child O' Mine" is also not right. Rihanna is not M.I.A. and should not sing "Paper Planes." Furthermore, the Counting Crows should not partner with Vanessa Carlton to sing Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi."

Any others?

Is Editing Like Covering A Song?

This is by no means ruling out editing as a practice, just to say that up front. And it is by no means trying to insult anyone who does edit—your job is very important, and I respect that.

As someone who writes, I think that editing is a necessity. It's to make sure that things are true, it's to make sure that things are logically put together, and it's to keep a sense of style signature to a publication. Editing is necessary, and sometimes, it turns out wonderfully.

I do admit, though, sometimes when I edit, I'm not as proud of the end result as I was with the original. Yes, the story would probably make more sense for print, and yes, the story turns out good with my name on it.

But sometimes when it's finished, it doesn't sound like I wrote it anymore. It's like when an artist covers a song. The lyrics, the music, and the intentions behind the song all stay the home. But it loses the voice of the artist in translation (kind of like this picture of my Aunt hiding behind Peter Gabriel's mug).

Now sometimes, this is a good thing. Listening to original demos and then to the people who made them famous? Sometimes it's a very good thing (Whitney Houston owes a lot to Dolly Parton, who originally wrote "I Will Always Love You," and I argue that Fountains of Wayne's version of "...Baby One More Time" is the best incarnation of Britney's first hit, with Travis's version being a close second).

But sometimes, you get Pat Boone covering Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train." Or Madonna murdering Don McLean's epic "American Pie."

(Come to think of it, this cover war deserves its own post)

But what do you think?

For Journalists, We're Pretty Unobservant

My News I class and I fail at life. I blame it on re-entry discomfort following a pretty awesome spring break.

After waking up and looking at my clock with confusion (I'm still running on PST) because I forgot to set the clock forward an hour. So I'm really off time. I threw some clothes on, including this gem because really, I am on deadline.

Walked down to Park for News I class (probably the easiest ease into the morning class, because we don't do too much) and grab some OJ and a muffin. Say hi to Amanda, because she's there for News II. Walk in, sit down, shoot the breeze with everyone else there (not many people), and generally wonder where the heck our teacher is.

One of the other people in the class walks in about 10 minutes later with a sign that says that class is canceled. It was next to the door (you're supposed to put it on the door, but that's really not a good excuse) and about 10 of us missed it. Now keep in mind, everyone in that class wants to get into journalism somehow, which means you kind of have to be observant.

Which...we weren't.

The Force Is Strong With Apple

Perhaps the most awesome yet pointless application ever for an iPhone or iTouch? The Lightsaber application.

Star Wars geeks, rejoice.

With a few downloads to your iWeapon of Choice, you can choose what character you want to be, you can make your own lightsaber, and then plug in your headphones.

You swish your wrist around a little bit, and bam! All the noises and music that go with the lightsaber. The swooshes, the smacks, everything. It's kind of epic. So go forth and download, dear nerds.

My Vote for My Sister's Prom Dress

So I finally got to talk to my little sister today, and she told me that she was interested in a prom dress that she saw at David's Bridal. And yes, it is a little expensive. But I'm arguing for it.

First of all, jewel tones work for almost anyone, especially red. And with her coloring, with the blonde hair and more tan skin (well, tanner than mine, which isn't saying much) it will look very pretty.

Second, we're talking about wearing polka dots to prom. Which I'm all for, if I had found a good pattern like this, I would've worn it too! It's adorable, and it's just different enough to stand out.

Third, the belt. Very flattering, very cute, cinches everything in very nicely. The back laces up (I didn't do a picture of that one, there's only so much that Uncle Richard can photoshop).

Monterrey, Capitola, Chinatown, & San Francisco (Day 3 & 4)

So I've been kind of busy and haven't been blogging lately, so for this entry, I'm copping out and sending you to look at all my photos from the past few days: the album from Monterrey & Castroville & Capitola, and the albums from Chinatown & Alcatraz. Enjoy, I'll hopefully blog more later or at very least, a bunch on Saturday if I get stuck in the airport.

The Valsalva Maneuver: Redwoods & Santa Cruz

Here on Day 2 of the trip, we decided to head to the Redwoods and Santa Cruz. As we were winding up the hill/mountain, our ears started to pop and the following conversation ensued.

"To get your ears to pop, just hold your nose and blow gently. It increases the pressure in your ears, it's called the Valsalva Maneuver," says Uncle Richard.
"No it's not. The Valsalva Maneuer is when you bear down to take a dump," says Aunt Dori.

Kristyne decided to Cha-Cha it and sure enough, Uncle Richard was right (we found out later it actually can be either or). So that was the running joke through the redwoods, which...are huge. Seriously. One of the tallest ones was 271 feet high (which, the Statue of Liberty is 305'1"). After some fun jumping around the forrest and ducking under John Fremont's bed tree, we ended up back in the car to go to Santa Cruz.

We cruised the strip a little bit and made our first stop at Bad Ass Coffee (no joke, it's really called that!). Got myself a hot chocolate and a keychain to prove I was there, and then we took a trip down the strip. Found a book/record store that we took some fun record pictures in (including Joan Baez, my other one was Madonna). Looked in a few shops and came back home for dinner and planning tomorrow.

We're Not Lost, Smiddy Said Turn Right!

Let me get this clear: I didn't rag on Amanda Fox in that last post. The Amanda I was referring to was my cousin Amanda Connors, who had a similar voice to the girl in the last post, only the girl on the phone was far more pathetic. I don't want to make one of my friends think I was talking about her, because I wasn't.

Now that I've straightened that out? On to the first day in San Francisco.

After oversleeping a little and going to late mass (which seriously, St. Mary's has a crazy choir and I totally zoned out because the priest was kind of boring), we came back to grab lunch at the house and get sweaters and things for the trip to San Francisco.


We thought we were running late, so we jumped in the car and raced over to Neil's apartment to pick him up. Turns out, he had just woken up and took about 10 minutes to get ready as we tried to harass his cats to get out of their hiding spots. Once he was ready, we took off to the Warhol exhibit. We hit the YSL first, which, I wish I could've taken pictures, they were gorgeous. I want the tuxedo in there. And a few others. Anyway. After the exhibit, we took the photo tour of the Golden Gate Bridge, and then when that was done (after trying to find the wave organ, which we couldn't, even though "Smiddy" said to turn down by the yacht club and thus became a trip-long joke), we drove through Japantown and tried to figure out where to eat dinner. Which took a bit, because everywhere we thought of, the restaurant had closed recently.

We ended up at Bocce, this cute little restaurant in Little Italy, which we were afraid would be packed, but was actually completely empty except for us and some other couple. Which meant we could be as loud as we wanted. So we were. It was delicious, and it was really fun, and we were there for almost 2 hours.

Good times.

The Saga Continues

8:42 PM EST, Somewhere over Columbus, Ohio

Unfortunately, I had no time to blog from JFK. Mainly because of what happened coming out of Syracuse.

So Kristyne & I got on the Delta Connection flight no problems. Tiny little plane, actually, more of a bus with wings than an actual plane. I was at the window, then Kristyne was on the aisle (we got the 2-seat side), across the aisle from us was a little older lady, Peggy, going to meet her brother in Rome. Really sweet lady, reading some sort of Irish-looking romance novel.

As we were looking over the safety protocols, Kristyne and I had the following conversation (this is legit).

“Who would bring a desktop computer on a plane?” asks Kristyne, pointing to a picture on the safety brochure of a television with a remote.
“Who would bring a remote with a desktop computer? That’s a TV,” I answer back.
Kristyne takes this in for a minute.
“Who would bring a TV on a plane?”

A few minutes later after we ponder who would bring a TV on a plane and why, she asks the tough questions about bringing remotes on planes.

“Can you bring a remote on a plane?” she asks. “Like, what if I was in India, and my mom calls and says ‘Our remote broke, can you grab a new one?’ and I buy one there and get on the plane?”
I look at her with a “you can’t be serious” look and respond.
“You could buy one back home,” I say.
“Yeah, but it’s cheaper in India,” she says.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this confusion, the pilot comes over the intercom and announces that since there’s too much traffic flying into JFK International Airport (our layover), we would be delayed 45 minutes to an hour sitting on the plane on the runway until we were given permission. So rather than taking off at 4:40 PM EST as planned, we would be leaving at 5:40 at earliest.

Kristyne proceeds to shit a chicken, thinking it’s completely her fault due to her horrible flying record (which, really, it totally could be. She has horrible luck with flying lately). As she calls her dad to tell him the news, I try to get in touch with my aunt and uncle in California. I call my Dad and tell him to relay it, because Aunt Dori won’t answer her phone. I try one more time and get Uncle Richard, who says just to call whenever the hell we get to JFK.

We take a few sad pictures with Anne-Koala reading the safety materials, waiving by the rainy window on the runway, and looking upset that she’s held up an hour with Kristyne frowning as well. We also have angry pictures with our boarding passes to San Fran, because we were under the assumption we wouldn’t make the connection flight.

We finally take off at 5:50 PM EST and proceed to hit some of the scariest turbulence I’ve ever experienced. My state of mind isn’t great, considering those recent three flights crashing (even though Sully got everyone out okay). Our main concern at this point was making our layover flight at JFK to San Francisco: that flight left Gate 10 at 7:20 PM EST sharp, and we assumed we would be missing it.

Turns out we didn’t. With a few shortcuts from the pilot, we got from Syracuse to NYC in about 40 minutes. Kind of sad, really, we waited on the runway on the plane longer than we were in the air on the plane.

So we disembark and quickly try to find the terminal, which let me tell you, JFK is freaking huge. I mean, the part I saw wasn’t as big as De Gaulle in Paris or Barajas in Madrdid, but the two terminals I saw were gigantic, and that was only for Delta. We found it finally, but as we were walking, I heard “Fetsic and Palombo, please report to Gate 10, the flight to San Francisco is departing.”

My “Oh shit” moment happens and I flashback to the Wisconsin flight my family took when I was about 10, when we forgot to change our watches to CST and we had to run to the gate. I’ll never forget it, Dad had Corinne in one hand and the Burger King bag in the other…

…anyway.

I yell at Kristyne to book it to the gate, we get there just in time, and we get on the plane 10 minutes before takeoff. Turns out the plane is really really empty (I currently have the whole row to myself, the lady sitting by the window got up to find an empty row to sleep). I buy myself a kick-ass southwestern chicken Caesar salad from the plane and get my drink, and settle in for a 6 hour and 6 minute flight, which actually left 5 minutes early from the gate and features free TV shows.

So I can watch E! and Saturday Night Live when my laptop dies from 30 Rock.

So the traveling started off bad, but really, not horrible now. Granted this flight goes as planned. Stay tuned, next entry should be some point tomorrow.
9:16 PM EST, Flying into Illinois (according to this nifty in-flight map)

I want to discuss the “Mile High Club.”

After having to book it through JFK and not having time to stop at the restroom or get food, I decided to move about the cabin and use the bathroom. Other than the cold air blowing at me from nowhere and the odd faucet, I noticed how truly small that the bathroom on a plane is.

It’s essentially smaller than a port-a-potty, with the luxury of not being tipped over (although you can’t really crash a port-a-potty, so six in one, half dozen in the other). There’s enough knee space to walk in, but really, there is one.

Now I know that a lot of people have the fantasy of having sex on a plane in the bathroom. Logistics wise, those people having sex in the airplane bathroom have to be tiny, and willing to have either the hand-hold bar or the faucet digging into their back during the act.

Just a thought. Will update ASAP.

I Can Hear You Now. And You Sound Like A Dumbass

Still in those ugly blue chairs at Syracuse Hancock International Airport, on IM so the subject of this conversation can't hear us.
Kristyne: this girl behind us...i cannot stand her conversation
Kristyne:
you are lucky you don't have to hear
Me: OH MY GOD I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU THAT TOO.
Me:I can hear her OVER my headphones.
Me: I want to saw off my ears.
Kristyne: wow
Kristyne: omg
Kristyne: i want to reach for the phone and be like "HE DOESN"T LOVE YOU!"
Me: HAHAHAHA.
Me: Give her "the wolfmother talk"
Kristyne: yes
Kristyne: only she seems more pathetic than wolfmother
Me: But first we need to give wolfmother "the wolfmother talk."
Me: It's sad, she sounds like my cousin Amanda but far more pathetic.
Me: Similar voice, but more valley and about 20 points dumber.
Kristyne: hah
Kristyne: yeah
Kristyne: i think that's the thing
Kristyne: she sounds dumb
Me: This conversation should be on Overheard Everywhere.
Me: If I had listened to the whole thing.
Me: Good news is, cell phones aren't allowed to be on during the flight.
Me: IT'S OVER.
Kristyne: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Me: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
A few minutes later...
Me: Why is she still talking?
Kristyne: no no
she started another conversation
Me: Some people should have their speaking privileges revoked.
Me: She finally finished.
Kristyne: that's what she said.

Google Street View Blows Kristyne's Mind

This is the third entry from 'Cuse, but since Kristyne & I are bored as anything, we've resorted to snooping around Google Maps.

I'm minding my own business and trying to listen to the new U2 album for reviewing (it's not bad, it's not amazing), and out of nowhere I a hear "WHOOOOOOOA!" that would make Bill and Ted proud.

I look over and Kristyne is perusing the Golden Gate Bridge in 360 degree view on her computer.

"I can make my little guy move!" she says.
This will be a fun trip.

Cheers & Jeers: Syracuse Int'l Airport Wi-Fi

My cheers for the Wi-Fi in the airport are for its mere existence. Being able to check my e-mail, blog, Twitter, IM, and Facebook are awesome. I got to read some recaps on Television Without Pity, even

My jeers for the Wi-Fi in the airport are for its firewall. It won't let me to VH1 to watch Tool Academy (even though it did let me on Best Week Ever's blog), it won't let me to Entertainment Weekly to read up (although it will let me on to E! Online, which...maybe they don't like EW up here), it won't let me on parts of Live Journal or Fan Fiction.net!

(Yeah, I read Fan Fiction. Shut up)

California Dreamin'? California Bloggin'!

So day one of the Spring break adventure has begun.

Kristyne & I are currently sitting in Syracuse Hancock International Airport (the "International" makes it seem huge, but it's tiny, and it's only international because it provides flights to Canada) waiting for our flight to JFK at 4:40. Don't ask me the flight number, I don't know it.

After making our way through security (my worries that my belly-button ring would set off the alarm were for nothing, I was absolutely fine going through. Although Kristyne had some issues with her cameras at the first TSA point), we ended up here at the terminal waiting as the first passengers in those uncomfortable blue seats looking out the window at this baby little plane of Continental's.

The plan is that nothing bad will happen here (although it looks like it will pour any minute now on one side of the terminal), and we'll end up in "Frisco" by 11:15 PM, as Hilary refers to it. We dropped her off at Ithaca Airport on the way here.

This morning was pretty good. Cleaned up the room, watched as the kids down the hall got their asses fined by the RAs (Kaitlyn & Matt). We were allowed to leave up my beloved window paintings until we move out, and we locked up and went to Dunkin' Donuts for some flatbreads/bagels and coffee/hot chocolate (somewhere in Wilmington, Delaware, John Palombo is crying at his lack of Dunk's coffee).

So now we are here. If I have time, I'll make an entry from JFK. The chances of that are slim, because as I remember, we only have about an hour for layover.

And the first priority at JFK is to find a Chick-Fil-A, stat.

Oh, to add? The Wi-Fi here at Syracuse has firewalls. I tried to look up the Facebook of Genesis off of College Humor (would link it, but it wouldn't work, because of this sentence), and it said it was objectionable content. Kind of a bummer. Apparently,t his internet is family-friendly.

So lonely travelers? No porn here.

I Watched the Watchmen

I proudly admit that I'm a geek.

I've seen all of the Star Wars movies (including the shitty new ones). I went to a math and science high schools. I love action movies. I think math jokes are funny. I like deep movies. I go see movies at midnight because I can.

That said, I have not seen Lord of the Rings. I have not read any of the Harry Potter books. I have not seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show more than 200 times (although I have seen it far more times than it deserves). And I did not read Watchmen.

I did go see the movie, and I thought it was a visually beautiful action movie. Nothing more, nothing less. There were parts that I didn't understand (towards the end, the whole "on Mars" bit was ridiculous), but I thought it was awesome. The sex scene was a little gratuitious.

I probably wouldn't have minded if Patrick Wilson had looked like this rather than this. Nice ass, for sure. But the hair wasn't doing it for me in this movie.

I actually liked Watchmen.

Endless Love: Cullen vs. Alpert

So as I was watching Lost tonight, I had a thought. A lot of girls I know have become obsessed with one Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson). They like his protectiveness of Bella, his greasy bedhead, his eyes, the stubble, etc. In real life, they like Robert Pattinson's British accent.

Now I agree, the immortality thing is kind of hot. He's lived, he has wisdom and experience, and he has something of a baby face. But when I think of sexy immortals, I'm not usually thinking of this greasy mug. My first thought usually is David Boreanaz on Angel (my fellow Parkie!). And then I think of a very sexy immortal, also of questionable morals and age: Richard Alpert.

So he guy-lines. Whatever. I have a thing for tall dark and handsome. And the fact that he knows how to properly use make-up isn't completely off-base or a turn off. Richard Alpert has a few advantages over Edward Cullen. He's not a vampire, which would not work for some girls. But Alpert lives on a beautiful island, which his girlfriend would presumably visit. He seems to be indestructible, so that's good. He's physically attractive. And if it doesn't work out, he's surrounded by good looking men that are willing to date outside their pool (because really, Sawyer can only get with Kate so many times, and Juliet seems to accept her role as second fiddle).

Advantage? Dharma's own. Sorry, Eddie.

I'm Not A Techie

I've been trying to upload a video since 12:30 PM this afternoon, and it doesn't seem to be happening. So here's to hoping it loads sometime before 11:30 AM on Saturday morning when I'll be packing myself up.

In case it does load, it's a pretty damn funny video of Kristyne that I made.

I Want a Super Sexy Slo-Mo

I'm a huge fan of Conan O' Brien, so really, seeing him leave Late Night was a big thing for me (even though he'll be back on the Tonight Show in June). Jimmy Fallon is not my ideal late night host, but I'll give this to him: The Super Sexy Slo-Mo and the "Slow Jam The News" bits were pretty good.

The one-word answer questions were funny for Robert DeNiro, especially after watching him make fun of DeNiro on SNL without knowing that he would show up.

So here's to a good start to the show.

Love the house band, by the way. Not Max Weinberg, but still, the Roots are awesome.

You must live up to this:

Evening the Score

Today's News I viewing of Wall-E got me to thinking about a few things. First of all, I couldn't believe that we convinced our professor to watch the whole movie based on the importance of tone of voice. Your tuition at work, parents!

Second (and more significantly), I think that Wall-E really got robbed for best score. Hear me out.

This is nothing against Slumdog Millionaire and A.R. Rahman. The movie and the score were divine, and regular readers/skimmers of this blog already know that I gave it much praise and respect. The score is brilliant to that movie, and really enhances the story and enriches the cultural viewing portion of it.

But without the score, Wall-E would fall flat. The story (which should have been nominated for Best Picture overall, not just Best Animated Picture) has virtually no dialogue, and the first verbal interaction is almost 40 minutes into the movie. Would it really be the same without music? I think not.

So here's to the Oscars re-evaluating what a score means to a movie. Slumdog Millionaire was brilliant and deserves all of its awards. Except for this one, in which Thomas Newman and Peter Gabriel got robbed. Come on, how can you resist those little robotic eyes?

I Need To Stop Doing This

I have a confession to make: I tend to rock out at my desk with my headphones in, completely oblivious from the whole world around me.

So I didn't hear the knock at the door, and I didn't even notice that Monica was looking at me. She wanted to know if I wanted to go to dinner, but I was just shaking my ass for all it's worth in my broken desk chair.

This needs to end. It's at least the 3rd time people have seen me doing this, and it's kind of embarrassing.

Slaughter Beach: The Movie?

I happened to stumble upon the Horror Movie's FAQ (no, legit, it came up from the StumbleUpon button on my toolbar). And it got me to thinking: what ever happened to that horror movie we joked about making in high school? We had the perfect plot and the perfect location!

Delaware, in case you didn't know, has some pretty awesome beaches, especially if you're gay. One of them happens to be named Slaughter Beach, after postmaster William Slaughter. Now, it's all well and good that it's named for the postmaster. But doesn't this just sound like a really terrible horror movie waiting to be made?

(Seriously, Dan Heffner, get on this!)

The idea was to have it after prom, and have the usual assortment of dumb teenagers and sluts on the beach celebrating their senior year or whatever, and have them all just brutally die on Slaughter Beach, because of some sort of legend of murder there. Rob was going to film it, and it just kind of never happened.

I'm just putting the idea out there. If someone uses it, I would like credit.

We Belong Together Like Traffic and Weather

I don't think I've mentioned this on the blog, but me and my travel buddy Kristyne are heading to California for Spring Break. We're crashing with my Aunt and Uncle, and really, it's been a countdown to this Saturday afternoon when we leave.

The plan is to leave from Syracuse Hancock International Airport and fly to John F. Kennedy International Airport in NYC, which is supposedly a zoo. Then from JFK, we're flying direct to San Francisco International Airport. On the way home we get split, and she flys the same route backwards as I take a detour through Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International and get to Syracuse an hour after Kristyne gets back.

(Enough links for you?)

Here's the issue. According to various reports, the Northeast is supposed to get a killer snowstorm this weekend. According to the weather forecast above for Syracuse, it doesn't seem like it's going to hit up there. But every other day up there before this? Snow. I'm worried. I would be bummed if we missed CA, and if Kristyne misses another flight due to snow, heads will roll.

So just say a quick prayer that it doesn't snow for anyone traveling for Spring Break, whether on train, plane, or automobile.