Thursday, January 29, 2009

Alias Just got Damaged

The more I watch FX's fabulous legal thriller Damages, the more I realize this:

1) Glenn Close is a total bunny boiler.
2) The creators of this show have clearly been watching their Alias DVDs and took notes.

In case you haven't been watching Damages, the basic outline is this. Ellen Parsons (Rose Byrne) starts working at Hewes and Associates law firm straight out of law school. She's pretty, naive, happily engaged. Her boss is Patty Hewes (Glenn Close), and she's...tempestuous? ["Heinous bitch is the term used most often."] They work together first on the Arthur Frobisher (Ted Danson) case, where this rich dirtbag swindled millions out of pension from his workers. A ton of shit goes down, and Ellen's life essentially falls apart because of Patty's possessiveness and the work load of the case - she loses her friends, her fiancee gets killed, and her morals are pretty much destroyed. At the end of season 1 with nowhere really to turn, she goes back to work for Patty - unbeknownst to Patty, Ellen is also working for the FBI to bring her down.

In case you haven't been watching Alias, here's the basic rundown (of the early seasons, at least, the last 3 aren't important). Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner) starts working at SD-6 straight out of college as she attends grad school. She's pretty, naive, happily engaged. Her boss is Arvin Sloane (Ron Rifkin), who has a thing for a guy named Rambaldi. They work together on "protecting America's freedom." A ton of shit goes down, and Sydney's life essentially falls apart because of Sloane's level of commitment and the work load of all her travels - she keeps her friends (but they're pissed), her fiancee gets killed, and...actually, she still has some morals. At the end of the first episode, Sydney goes back to work for Sloane - unbeknownst to Sloane, Sydney is also working for the CIA to bring him down.

That's kind of vague, so let's get a little more specific.

1) They both are hired because they have some connection to the organization's longterm goals. Ellen was friends with a "key witness" Katie, and Sydney was hired because of her relations to Rambaldi.
2) They both hate their bosses, who view them as surrogate daughters for the ones they lost. Patty's daughter Julia was stillborn, so she substitutes Ellen in her mind as a daughter. Sloane's daughter Jacqueline was stillborn, so she substitutes Sydney in his mind as a daughter (and because he had an affair with her mom, so it's totally a legit possibility at the time).
3) They both have friends that get tied up with their jobs, are somehow involved with heroin, and are completely discredited in their respective fields. For Ellen, that friend is Katie, whose life and credibility are destroyed because of her involvement with the Frobisher case and that douche Greg (and cocaine. Can't forget the cocaine). For Sydney, that friend is Will, whose life and journalistic credibility are destroyed because of his investigation of SD-6 and Danny's murder (and a shot of herion from Jack, albeit unwilling).
4) Hewes and Sloane both have righthand men that end up turning on them. For Hewes, it's Tommy Shayes - a devoted father of a little girl who despises Hewes's methods and ends up helping Ellen. For Sloane, it's Jack Bristow - a devoted (distant) father of a little girl who despises Sloane's methods and ends up helping Sydney (actually, Sydney helps him, but whatever).
5) Both Sydney and Ellen get romantically involved with a man out for vengence against a common enemy because of a death of a loved one. For Ellen, it's Gus from therapy (whose finacee was killed by Frobisher). For Sydney, it's Vaughn (whose dad was killed by Sydney's mom, which...awkward).

This is where it gets hairy. Ellen had a doctor fiancee named David that hated her job and ended up killed in the bathtub of Ellen's apartment - a killing which Hewes planned. Sydney had a doctor fiancee named Danny that hated her job and ended up killed in the bathtub of Sydney's apartment - a killing which Sloane planned.

I realize that this is just the musing of a very observant fan. But seriously. Damages? Stop stealing pages from J.J. Abrams's playbook and make up your own ridiculous storyline.

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